


Hope

by FlorenceSnape



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Love, Original Character(s), Romance, Starwars - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-03-07 00:30:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 37,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13422876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlorenceSnape/pseuds/FlorenceSnape
Summary: Can their friendship survive Ben's stupid decisions? What about their love?





	1. The Beginning

 

**14 ABY**

  
**Chandrila**

  
A nine-year-old Ben Solo sat on top of a small hill near his house, looking over the beautiful, peaceful landscape of his hometown, Hanna, at twilight. He didn’t want to get inside; his mother was too busy organizing an important dinner with some important family that he had no interest in knowing, much less having dinner with. And they would bring their eight-year-old daughter with them. A girl. He was going to have to be polite and treat her well, or else — those were his mother's words. Not to mention the clothes Leia had made him wear; they were formal clothing, she had explained, and the situation asked for formal wear. All he knew was that they were too tight and made it impossible for him to play, much less run. Can this night get any worse? he thought.  
"Ben", he heard his mother calling. "Come inside, our guests will be here soon."  
He slowly made his way towards home. As he reached the front door he saw the lights of a family-size Landcruiser entering the front yard.  
"They're here." Leia said, happily. She looked at her son and fixed his clothes.  
"Why are you so happy about it, mom?"  
"They are old family friends, dear. And they have just moved here to Hanna, their house is two blocks north from here. General Wedge Antilles is the only Rebellion pilot to survive both Death Star runs. And Iella was also part of the Rebellion as an intelligence operative, and she even performed deep undercover work for months at a time. Now she works at the New Republic Intelligence Service. And their daughter is Force-sensitive, just like you."  
Ben was impressed by all of that, but before he could say anything, his mother was already walking towards their guests. The tall man was the first to get out of the Landcruiser, his wife next and then their daughter. Ben was immediately taken by her: long curly brown hair, creamy skin and the bluest eyes he had ever seen — it was as if she was a magnet that pulled him and he, inexplicably, wanted to be pulled to her.  
"This is my son, Ben," he heard his mother's voice introducing him. "Son, these are our guests, Wedge and Iella Antilles and this is Sara, their daughter."  
"It's nice to meet you all," he quickly looked at the adults and then back at the girl, as if he were afraid that taking his eyes off of Sara would make her disappear. He approached her and reached out his hand. "Hi."  
"Hello," Sara replied with a smile, taking his hand for a quick shake.  
"Mom said you're Force-sensitive." he blurted as they walked into the house.  
"Yes. My mom said the same about you." she observed him closely. "I can sense it in you. You're very strong with the Force."  
"How can you tell?" a skeptical Ben replied, stopping to look at her.  
"I just feel it. It's like reaching out for something, but with feelings. My dad taught me that."  
"He's Force-sensitive too?" Ben asked as they walked into the TV-room.  
"No, but he's a great friend of your uncle, Master Skywalker. He's mentioned my powers to your uncle and he has helped dad teach me some things about the Force since."  
Ben sat on the sofa and Sara sat beside him. He felt jealous, his own uncle had been helping that girl but not him. She noticed his feelings.  
"Hey, you don’t have to be jealous, you know. I've heard dad saying that maybe your uncle will begin a new Jedi Praxeum, a new Temple to train new Jedi. I'm certain you'll be the first one to attend."  
"That is if my parents let me go. My father is not... well, he doesn’t really like this Jedi thing."  
"Your mom will let you. My mom said Princess Leia is Force-sensitive too. She will understand that you have to go learn with your uncle."  
"Will you go?"  
"Of course!" Sara exclaimed. "It would be egoistic not to learn how to use the powers bestowed on us. We can use them to help others."  
"We can also use them to make others do what we want."  
"That's not exactly the Jedi way of thinking, Ben." she looked at him intensely. "Let me show you something," she sat facing him, and touched his hand; he immediately felt some energy spreading from his hand, into his chest, going into all things around him. "Can you feel it?" she whispered, still looking at him.  
"What should I be feeling?" he whispered without really knowing why.  
"The Force. Isn't it cool? This was something my dad said Master Skywalker had sent as my First Lesson. It took me days to really feel it all. Meditation helped me a lot."  
Jealousy tried to arise again, but Ben was feeling too peaceful and connected to the world to fully have that feeling. He looked at Sara, he could feel the Light inside of her — it washed over him like slow waves caressing a quiet white-sanded beach.  
"I can feel something different..." she whispered, closing her eyes and strengthening her grip on his hand. After a minute, she slowly shook her head sideways. Sara let his hand go and opened her beautiful blue eyes. "I saw your conflict. It doesn't make you evil. You were born with it, it's a part of you, there's no need to feel ashamed of it."  
"That's not what my mom thinks." he sounded resentful.  
Sara looked at him with empathy. And he felt glad that she didn’t pity him.  
"Kids," Iella Antilles called them from the corridor. "Ah, there you are." she looked at both of them, noticing that something was going on. "Is everything ok?"  
"Yes, mom." Sara replied, getting up and walking towards her mother. "Is dinner ready?"  
"Yes, Leia asked me to look for you two." she kept on looking from her daughter to Ben.  
"So, let's go." Sara said. "I'm starving!"  
Iella just nodded and the three walked to the dining room.

* * *

 

After dinner, the adults sat on sofas in the backyard porch, watching the two kids talking in the distance, sitting at the top of a small hill.  
"It looks like those two hit it off." said Wedge.  
"Yes. And it's weird... in a good way, of course." said Leia. "Ben doesn’t have many friends of his age. But he and Sara are talking like they've known each other for years."  
"I think they had some sort of moment earlier, before dinner." Iella said, making her husband and Leia stare at her with questions in his eyes.   
"But they're kids." said Leia.  
"No, not that kind of moment. Just... as if they had finally met someone whom they have something in common with. Neither of us is Force-sensitive," she looked at her husband, "So Sara has no one that understands how she feels; we try our best but, I know that she misses some kind of camaraderie that we can't give her. I believe that she's found it now." Iella finished with a smile.  
"Don’t be so hard on yourselves. I'm Force-sensitive and I haven't been able to help Ben." Leia paused, looking at her son in the distance. "He has some... issues with his powers." she sounded insecure. "He feels ashamed sometimes. And I don’t think I've been able to help him overcome them."  
"Sara has a special gift." Wedge whispered. "Maybe she'll be able to help your son."  
"I hope so." Leia whispered, her eyes on the young couple that laughed on the top of the hill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :
> 
> 1\. So here it is: the first chapter of my Star Wars fanfic. Can’t believe I’m doing this... But this story popped up on my mind and wouldn’t go away for weeks, so I gave up and decided to write it. I expect this fanfic to be 14 chapters long (and I have most of it written already). Thanks for reading it and I’d love to hear your thoughts on it.
> 
> 2\. Forgive any grammatical errors, English is not my mother language. And let me know if anything sounds terribly wrong, please.
> 
> 3\. As I am new to the Star Wars world — and it's a HUGE world — I’ve been checking everything on Wookiepedia, so most chapters will have notes from things I've looked up on that website.
> 
> 4\. On this chapter we saw Wedge and Iella Antilles, they are real Star Wars Canon characters and they can be found on Wookiepedia, I only altered their personal stories a bit to fit my desires.
> 
> Thanks again!


	2. Friendship

  
After that first dinner, the Antilles visited the Organa-Solo's house weekly. And not a day went by where Ben didn't speak Sara's name – which didn’t go unnoticed by Han Solo, when he got home one day to see his son and wife.  
"Is he in love or something?" Han asked Leia at night on the bed.  
"I don’t know. He's too young for love, isn't he?" she said, her head on her husband's chest.  
"Yes, but... I think he says the girl's name twice every thirty minutes. What's so special about her?"  
"Her parents said she has a gift. They didn’t want to tell me what it is but... I could sense the Light inside of her."  
"What's so special about that? Don’t we all have it inside of us?"  
"Yes. But that’s all I sensed from her. The girl is pure Light-power, no Darkness, no conflict."  
"That's what you think has attracted Ben to her?"  
"Yes. She's beautiful too, and intelligent. But all that Light must have some influence on Ben. He has changed since he met her, and he laughs with her. It warms my heart when I see them side by side.,” she sighed. “I hope he's in love with her."  
"Aren’t they too young for that?" it was Han’s turn to say it.  
"But I can hope."  
"Well, if she helps keep our son on the right path, I am not against that marriage."  
"Now, that's something they're really too young for!" Leia laughed.

* * *

 

**15 ABY**

  
Ben ran through the soft balmgrass (1) towards Sara's house. He had to tell her the news, and it had to be in person. He had forbidden his mother and uncle to say anything to the Antilles before he had talked to Sara himself. He arrived at her house and knocked on the door.  
"Hi, Ben." Iella answered the door.  
"I need to talk to Sara." he said, still breathless from running all the way from his house.  
"She's meditating in her room. You can go there meditate with her if you want. You know the rules: don’t interfere."  
"Thanks." and he was running into the house towards Sara's room.  
He slowly opened the door and immediately found at her: she was in the middle of the white round rug by the foot of her bed, her legs crossed, arms resting on her thighs, only she wasn’t sitting on the rug, she was floating about ten centimetres above it. He sat in front of her and observed. She looked beautiful, unhuman in her peacefulness. And, as he looked at her, the feeling of waves on the white-sanded beach arose again. Ben sat there in front of her for nearly one hour. Then he saw her getting closer to the rug and slowly opening her eyes.  
"Ben?" she blinked. "You're really here?"  
"Yes."  
"I thought I had sensed your presence but I dismissed it as wishful thinking on my part."  
"I've been here for about an hour, I have great news!" he looked really excited. "My uncle is at my house right now, he invited me to join his new Jedi Praxeum (3)! It's going to happen!"  
"That's wonderful, Ben!" Sara kneeled on the rug and hugged him. "And will he be taking more apprentices or just you?"  
"If he doesn't let you go, I'm not going either."  
"Don’t say that, Ben." she smiled at him. "Even if I don’t go, you must go and learn how to administer your powers, your conflict. So those feelings stop hurting you."  
He looked down, as if suddenly shy, and whispered:  
"They don’t hurt so bad when I'm with you."  
Sara's smile broadened and she hugged him again.  
"I know." she whispered, still hugging him. "And I'm glad for that."  
They broke the hug after a while.  
"I need something to eat. Meditating always leaves me famished." she said. "Let's go tell my parents your good news and find me some food."  
And so they went.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Balmgrass was a species of grass native to the world of Chandrila. It derived its name from the fact that it was very soft to the touch. (Legends)  
> 2\. According to Legends, Luke founded the Jedi Temple on Yavin 4 in 11 ABY, not 15 ABY. I couldn’t find any references to this on Canon.  
> 3\. Jedi Praxeum is a term the Jedi scholar Karena used to describe a Jedi academy as a place for the "distillation of learning combined with action." (Legends)


	3. Parents

 

  
**19 ABY**

  
**Yavin 4**

  
**Jedi Praxeum**

Sara could sense Ben's frustration, after another full day of training he didn’t seem to be improving on his concentration. They had been training on lifting rocks for the past fortnight but Ben's rocks tended to explode after he lifted them — something that angered Ben, made Master Skywalker worry even more about his nephew and also hurt many students who weren't quick or able enough to cast a protective shield around themselves.  
"We'll end our training here today." said a frustrated Luke. "Sara, take the students who aren't hurt to the lake to relax. I'll look after those who need stitching."  
Many students followed Sara, but Ben tried to stay behind. She noticed and went back to get him.  
"I want to help. It's my fault they are hurt, again." he said to her, regretfully.  
"They don’t want your help, Ben." she held his hand. "They're angry at you right now. Let's go to the lake."  
Ben sighed and walked hand-in-hand with Sara to the lake, where the others had already undressed to their undergarments and were having fun in the water.  
They sat on the grass, away from the others, and Sara took his hand again.  
"Do you want to talk?" she asked.  
"No. I just wish I weren't broken."  
"You're not broken, Ben. I've told you already..."  
"I know." he roughly interrupted. "It's all part of me, I was born with this conflict and I must learn how to administer it."  
"Yes. One day you'll..."  
"It'd better be soon. I don’t know much longer I'll be able to keep holding on." he whispered, sounding troubled. "And I'm afraid."  
"Is there anything you haven't told me?"  
"There's a voice... a man's voice. It tells me that I'm all he needs for his plans to restore the order in the Galaxy."  
Sara became worried.  
"You can't trust such voice, Ben... it's dangerous."  
"I know. But it makes me feel special. Not like a lost case or a failure. 'Cause that’s all I feel here, during the training: a failure."  
She touched his face and looked into his dark eyes.  
"There's nothing wrong with you, and you're definitely not a failure." she got closer to him and touched their lips together, in a light, innocent kiss.  
"Sara," he whispered when the kiss ended and they opened their eyes.   
"I like you, Ben." she whispered, laying her head on his shoulder.  
"I like you too." he said with a smile, feeling that, at least for a moment, the day had just got brighter.

* * *

 

 **Later that same day**  
Dinner was almost at an end when they heard a ship landing near the Temple. And by the look on Master Skywalker's face, he hadn't been expecting anyone. He got up from the head of the long table where they all had their meals together and walked outside. Not one of the fifteen students got up or said a word; since they had got there in the Temple they had had visits from their families, but never unscheduled.  
After a few minutes, Master Luke walked back into the room.  
"Sara. There's someone outside to see you." he said, looking somber. Sara stood up, and so did Ben. "Only her, Ben."  
Sara left the room and Ben sat back down.  
As she opened the door to leave the building she saw a big transport ship parked right in front – and close to it was Ben's mother, waiting for her.  
"Princess Leia.” she had always called her Princess. “What...? Is something wrong?" Sara asked, confused by her visit.  
"Yes, dear. Let's get inside my ship to talk privately.”  
They walked up the ramp and sat in a comfortable little sofa inside the ship.  
"There's been a problem." Leia began. "With your parents. Did you know they were traveling around the Galaxy?"  
"Yes. Dad has retired and mom took some time off from work to accompany him in a long journey around the Galaxy. They have wanted to do that for many years, and never could until now. With the Galactic Concordance signed, they thought it was safe to travel."  
"Well, it wasn’t as safe as they thought it was." Leia paused and took Sara's hand. "They've been kidnapped by the Second Imperium. It's a new group that still believes in Palpatine's way to do things. Anyway, they recognized your dad and took him and your mother to the Deep Core. Yesterday, we received a voice message from them, where they said that your parents were released... in Sha Qarot."  
Sara stared at her wide-eyed.  
"Sha Qarot..." she murmured, trying to think. "Isn't that a poisonous planet?"  
"Yes. This morning we ran a scan for life forms on the planet but... nothing was found. That's how we know that they didn’t survive." Leia looked at the young girl. "I'm sorry to be the carrier of such horrible news, my dear. But I thought it would be somewhat better if I were the one to tell you. Nor that there is anything that could make this easy..."  
"I understand." Sara whispered, still in shock. "What am I going to do now?" and tears began to fall.  
"You'll continue your training here, of course; and, if you allow me, I can take care of all the other things."  
"Yes. That'd be nice. I don't really know what to do..."  
"Do you want to keep the house in Chandrila?"  
"No." Sara couldn’t imagine going back to that house without her parents.  
"Ok. That's a start. I'll sell it for you and put the money on your account."  
"Okay."  
Leia looked at the young girl with empathy.  
"I can't imagine how hard this is for you." she hugged Sara. "But you can always count on me, for anything you need."  
Sara hugged her tighter and sobbed.

* * *

 

Inside the Temple, Luke approached Ben as soon as Sara left the room.  
"It's your mother outside. With bad news for Sara. She'll need our support, and I've noticed you and her have got closer after the last rock incident."  
Ben blushed, confirming his uncle's suspicions.  
"I'll do anything to help her. But... what happened?"  
"It's her story to tell." and Luke left his side.

* * *

 

But Sara didn’t return to the cafeteria, she went straight to her cabin instead.  
Ben waited until everyone was asleep and sneaked out of his own cabin to enter hers.  
"Sara." he whispered, walking in; only a candle lit the small cabin, allowing him to see her lying on the bed. He kneeled on the floor by her bed and touched her face, it looked like she had cried herself to sleep. He laid his head near hers, just enjoying the feeling of having her close to him. The strange man's voice never came when he was close to her.   
After a few minutes Sara stirred on the bed.  
"Ben." she whispered, opening her eyes. "What are you doing here?" she sat on the bed. "If Master Skywalker finds you here..."  
"He told me my mother came to see you, and she had bad news." he sat on the bed, close to her. "I can see you have been crying. What happened, Sara? Are you leaving the Temple?"  
"No. Quite on the contrary. Now the Temple is the only house I have.” she took a deep breath. “My parents were murdered." she spoke the words for the first time. "I'm an orphan, Ben." and the tears fell again.  
"You're not alone, Sara." he hugged her tight and hesitated before looking at her and asking: "Did my mother tell you how they were murdered?"  
"By the Second Imperium. They threw my parents in Sha Qarot – that's in the Deep Core."  
"It's a poisonous planet, I know.” he murmured and wiped her tears with his thumbs. He got closer and kissed her on the lips. "I will be by your side, always." he whispered.  
"Thank you."  
And he held her as she cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Galactic Concordance was really signed in 19 ABY – that’s Canon. The Second Imperium is also Canon. And Sha Qarot is a planet with poisonous atmosphere that is part of the Deep Core – Canon as well


	4. Gone

**21 ABY**

Another disastrous training day for Ben Solo. Only this time he had no problem with the rocks, but with an older student, Gael. They had been training with their recently built lightsabers and the older boy made a comment about Sara's white lightsaber and fighting technique, how she was fierce and strong in battle but so calm and collected when they weren't training, "I'd love to tame all that fierceness. It doesn't hurt that she's beautiful too," said Gael. Those words were enough to make Ben lose his control; he attacked his opponent with too much strength but not enough expertise, nearly cutting the boy’s left hand off with his laser sword.

"Solo!" shouted Master Skywalker. "What do you think you're doing?!"

Many students ran to Gael's side, and so did their Master. But Sara ran towards Ben.

"What happened?" she asked in a low voice.

"He said things that... made me so angry and I... I lost control." Ben looked a little scared. "Did I cut his hand off?"

"I don’t think so." Sara said, looking towards Gael. She held Ben's hand. "You can't do these things, Ben. The others will get scared of you." she lowered her voice even further. "Have you been hearing that voice again?" he nodded. Sara closed her eyes and sighed. "You can't... I don’t know what else to do or say to help you, Ben."

"Sara." Master Skywalker had approached them. "You can go to your cabin, I need to have a word with Ben." he looked at his nephew, and Sara could sense a mixture of fear and love in her Master's aura.

She left them alone and went to her cabin.

 

* * *

 

Sara was getting ready to leave to go have dinner with the others when Ben entered her cabin.

"He knows it." he said, sitting on her bed.

"Who knows what?"

"My uncle... Master Luke, he knows about my conflict, he fears it."

"Did he say that?" she sat beside him.

"No, but I could see it in his eyes and in the way he spoke to me." he took her hand. "I don’t think he knows what to do with me."

"I sensed his fear earlier too." she admitted. "Did you tell him about the voice you hear?"

"No. But I think he knows about it somehow."

"You should tell him."

"He wouldn’t understand."

"He can help you, Ben."

"We've been here studying and training for six years, and he hasn't been able to help me so far. Why do you think telling him about the guiding-voice would be helpful?

" _Guiding-voice_ ?" she repeated, trying to understand the meaning he had given that strange voice. "You can't be serious. You're thinking of a strange man's voice that enters your head whenever you're alone as a _guiding-voice_?"

"Yes. He has helped me way more than my uncle." Ben got up from the bed and paced the small cabin.

"Can you hear that voice when you're with me?"

"You know I can't." he sounded annoyed.

"And don’t you think that’s strange — to say the least."

"Look," he stopped pacing to face her. "I know what you think that is. I understand your fears. But I can't see so much difference between Jedi and Sith."

Sara stood up and walked towards him.

"Ben, don’t do this." she pleaded. "Don't go that way... I won't follow you."

"I know. That's what keeps me from leaving this place. _You_. See how embarrassing that is?" he nearly shouted. "The power the voice offers me is limitless. But I can't see myself without the peaceful feelings you give me." he held her head between his hands and touched their foreheads together. “I don't know what to do." he whispered over her lips. “And it’s tearing me apart.”

"Don't go where I can't follow you." she whispered back.

And he kissed her. Not lightly this time, but passionately; tongues touching, shyly at first, but getting more confident with each move against each other. Her hands worked their way through his shoulder-length hair as Ben's hands ran down her spine, pulling her closer until there was no space between them. They kissed and touched until they were completely breathless and wanting more. Then, they pulled apart and opened their eyes, staring at each other; both with a mixture of desire, fear and love in their eyes.

"We should go to dinner before someone comes looking for us." she said. He nodded, not wanting to let go of her waist. "Ben, we can't walk into the cafeteria like this. You have to let me go." she smiled, touching his face, not really wanting him to let her go. He tried to take her lips again, but she stopped him. "If we start this again, we won't be leaving and then we'll have to explain to Master Luke why we missed dinner." he slowly let her go and they walked to dinner hand-in-hand with silly smiles on their faces.

 

* * *

 

After dinner, Ben returned with Sara to her cabin. They just lay down on her narrow bed, enjoying each other’s company. Sara lay on his chest hearing his heartbeat; only the flames in the small fireplace lit the small room.

“I wish life was always like this.” said Ben.

“It can be. One day Master Luke will consider us ready and we can go somewhere and live our lives just like this.”

“Will you marry me?” he blurted. “One day, I mean.”

Sara raised her head to look him in the eyes.

“Are you serious?”

“Never been more serious in my life.”

She lay on top of him and kissed him, tongues touching sensually. His hands went down her body, feeling her curves, making him ache for her. Sara pulled his shirt up and trailed kisses on his chest, going down his bellybutton and further down up to the rim of his pants, then back up to his mouth.

“You haven’t answered me yet.” he murmured, between kisses.

“Yes.” answered, smiling. “I’ll marry you, someday.”

Ben rolled them on the bed, getting on top of her, between her legs. He ravished her lips, going down her neck, leaving bite marks all over her skin; one of his hands found her brassiere-clad breasts under her shirt, the other caressed her thigh. He rubbed himself against her center, and Sara moaned against his lips.

Sudden knocks on the door made they jump apart.

“Sara,” it was Master Luke’s voice. “Do you happen to know where my nephew is?”

The two teens looked at each other, shocked and embarred for having been caught in such position by their Master.

“Yes, Master.” she replied trying not to laugh out of sheer embarrassment.

Ben quickly fixed his hair and clothes, looking down to the obvious erection between his legs.

“Thank goodness this pants are loose.” he whispered.

“I'm still here and I can hear you, Ben.” they heard Master Luke say from the other side of the door.

Ben kissed Sara once more before opening the door.

“Master, this is all my fault. Sara...” he began.

“Stop, Ben.” Luke interrupted. “Right now, I’m here as your uncle. You don’t need to explain anything to me. I’ve noticed you two have got even closer in the last couple of months.” he looked inside the cabin, at the embarrassed girl on the bed. “Good night, Sara.”

“Good night, Master Luke.” she replied, blushing further.

He closed the door and she stuck her face in the pillow, laughing at the huge hilariousness of what had just happened.

 

* * *

 

**Two weeks later**

**4 a.m.**

Sara woke up by the sounds of screaming and explosions. She grabbed her lightsaber and quickly ran outside. What she saw was something out of a nightmare: the Temple was burning, red flames going high towards the sky. Some kids ran past her, crying.

"What's happening?" she shouted at them.

"Fighting, near the Temple!"

"Who's fighting?" she felt her heart clench, she feared she already knew the answer.

"Your boyfriend!" shouted Gael, running towards her. "He has really fucked up this time! I saw Master Luke entering Solo's cabin and a couple of minutes later the place went down and your boyfriend ran out from the debris, his lightsaber in hand. I helped the Master out of the levelled cabin."

"Where's Ben?" she asked.

Gael pointed somewhere behind her; far in the horizon an Upisilon-class shuttle was taking flight.

Then Sara knew she had lost him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. The destruction of Luke’s Temple actually happened in 28 ABY, according to the Wookiepedia, and not 21 ABY (Canon).
> 
> 2\. About Sara’s white lightsaber: there’s nothing Canon about lightsaber's colors so I took one of the Legends explanations that fits my story: the white lightsaber is linked to the Gray Jedi, who believe there is no dark or light side of the Force, that it cannot be used for good or evil – just used. So they can train in both dark and light side.  
> The term Gray Jedi, or Gray, had two meanings. First, it was used by Jedi and Sith to describe Force-users who walked the line between the light and dark sides of the Force without surrendering to the dark side, and second, it described Jedi who distanced themselves from the Jedi High Council and operated outside of the Jedi Code. However, those who were considered to be true Gray Jedi met both qualifications and did not belong to any particular Force tradition. (Legends)


	5. Reencounter

 

**24 ABY**

**Takodana**

**Maz's Castle**

One more night of work began at the Castle. Sara was happy to finally having convinced Maz to let her work there at night as well as during the day – after all she was already 18 years old. She loved to work in the cantina, it was noisy and crowded, full of the most interesting people in the Galaxy – she was never bored. 

“Sara!” Maz called from the middle of the packed cantina. “Big crowd incoming!” 

“Ok. I’m on it!” she quickly prepared a tray with snacks and full glasses of flameout, meltdown cocktail and Geillian ale and left the counter towards the big crowd of masked guys that filled two tables. 

“Night, guys.” Sara greeted them, putting her tray on the table so that each man took his drink of preference. “First time here in the Castle?” 

“Yes.” one of them replied. 

“If I knew such beauty worked here, I’d have come sooner.” said another. “ I’m Jon.” 

“Well, Jon,” continued Sara, ignoring the last comment. “You can’t really drink with your masks on and we have a no-masks policy here, we like to see our clients faces, so, please remove your masks. There are Demicot silk bags under the tables for you to store them while here.” she took the empty tray back. 

They all obeyed, removing their masks and putting them into the silk bags. All except one. 

“What’s wrong, Kylo? Doesn’t want the pretty lady to see your ugly face?” joked one of the men. 

Sara looked at the one who still had the mask on and her heart skipped a beat – she knew who was behind that black mask. 

He slowly lifted his arms and disengaged the mask's lock on the back of the neck. With the mask in hands, the dark eyes she knew and loved looked at her, the shock of seeing him nearly making her drop her tray. Three years since she had last seen him; three years trying to understand what had happened that night at the Temple. Time seemed to stop as they stared at each other – all the noise in the cafeteria going unacknowledged by Sara’s ears. 

“Sara!” Maz called, approaching her carefully, noticing something was wrong. She touched her arm. “Dear, I need your help at the counter.” 

“Yes.” Sara answered, as if getting out of a trance. “I’ll go there right away.” 

She forced herself to look away from him and walked to the counter, holding on to it, trying to keep herself from falling. He was there, she was having a hard time believing it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. For the next hour or so she worked preparing cocktails, filling and washing glasses, not once lifting her head to look at him. But she could feel his eyes on her. 

“Sara.” she heard a familiar voice calling her by the counter. 

She mustered up the courage and looked at him. 

“ _Kylo_ , right?” she asked sarcastically. “What can I do for you?” 

“I... Can we talk?” 

“No.” she kept on working on the glasses. 

“I have some things to tell you.” 

“They didn’t matter three years ago. They don’t matter now.” she looked into his eyes. “Kylo.” 

 

* * *

 

 

“What’s the deal?” Maz asked her, three hours after Ben had arrived. 

“None whatsoever.” 

“Do you know that boy?” 

“Yes.” She sighed. “That's Ben Solo.” 

“What?” Maz looked towards him. “That’s the one who...” 

“Destroyed the Praxeum. Yes.” 

“And your heart.” Maz completed. Sara didn’t reply, she just kept on pouring four tall glasses of Tatooine Sunset. “They are known as the Knights of Ren. I asked around. Your boy is their commander, only they call him Kylo Ren.” 

“I really don’t want to know any of that, Maz.” 

“H'm. All right. I’ll just leave you with your glasses then. And your sorrow.” And Maz walked away. 

 

* * *

 

 

Sara saw when the Knights stood up, picked up their masks and left money on the tables. Her eyes met with Ben’s before he put his mask back on. 

 _I missed you._  she heard his voice whispering in her mind. 

She closed her eyes and replied _:_ _It_ _doesn’t matter._  

 

* * *

 

 

**A week later**

“He’s here, again.” Maz said, walking into the kitchen. 

“I know.” said Sara, in front of the sink, washing the dishes. 

“Did you feel his presence?” 

“Yes, long before he walked into the Castle. And it sucks. I’m not going out there.” 

Maz observed her for a while. 

“You’re angry at him. But it’s hurting you not going to him. I think you’ve even lost weight this past week.” 

Sara closed her eyes. 

“Maz, this story is too complicated to be solved with a simple chat. He left me, destoyed the Praxeum, and never looked back. I don’t think he even speaks to his mother anymore.” 

“I sensed a change in your powers when you were close to him. It finds balance. You’re his balance and he’s yours. Maybe your Light can...” 

“Been there, done that.” Sara interrupted. “While we were in the Temple, we were always together. I tried to help him every day, but nothing I said or did was enough to keep him from the Dark side; my love for him wasn’t enough.” 

“You’re right, this is too complicated, even more than you imagine perhaps. At least listen to what he has to say. Then tell him to never come back here.” 

Sara gave in. Maz could be right. Maybe Ben had a reason to do what he did. She turned off the water and found a towel to dry her hands. 

“I don’t think I’ll feel any better after hearing what he has to say though. It’ll probably make me more miserable once he leaves again.” she whispered. 

Maz touched her arm. “But at least you will know why he left you. Go to him, dear. You two have a three-year delayed conversation that’s eating up both of you inside.” 

Sara sighed heavily. 

“Can I use the conference room?” she asked. 

“Sure. Its empty.” 

 

* * *

 

 

Ben saw when Sara walked out of the kitchen towards him with anger in her blue eyes. 

 _Follow me._  she told him, silently. 

Sara walked to a heavy door and opened it. “Get in,” she ordered, he obeyed. Then she turned to the crowd of the cantina and said slowly: “You will all forget you saw me walking in there with him.” After, she turned around, walked into the room and locked the door. Then she stared into the dark eyes of Ben Solo. “You wanted to talk. So talk.” 

“It’s so good to see you after all these years.” Ben smiled. “I’ve missed you.” 

“You’ve said it already. Anything else?” she had a battle of emotions happening inside of her in that moment. For years she had dreamed of him finding her, saying he loved her – that all had been a mistake. But right then, when he was finally there, in front of her, she just wanted to punch that beautiful smile out of his face. 

Ben walked closer. 

“Haven’t you missed me?” 

“Is that all that matters to you, really?” she was furious. “I have no idea what happened the night you blew up the Temple and all you have to tell me is that you missed me? Three years, Ben, and not a word from you.” 

“I was training. I had no way to find you.” 

“ _Training_.” she scoffed. “With the owner of the strange voice I bet.” 

“Yes.” 

“Feeling special enough now? With your own knights to command?” 

“You’re mad at me. I get it! But I had no way to find you! I tried!” 

“You probably didn’t look hard enough, for I’ve been here ever since that night. Master Skywalker brought me here before going into hiding. Maz Kanata took care of me. I’m an orphan, remember?” she looked at him, angrily. 

“Luke tried to kill me!” he blurted. 

“What?” that stopped her venting. 

“I woke up in the middle of the night and he was standing there by my bed, lightsaber in hand ready to strike me, I saw it in his eyes...” 

“Why would he do that?”  

“He was afraid of my powers. He thought I had made my decision.” 

“And you hadn’t?” 

“You know I hadn’t; I gave you my reasons once. And even now, after all my training, the conflict is still there.” 

Sara tried to sense his powers. And she felt it. 

“Yes, it’s still there. Just as it always were.” 

“It doesn’t matter what I do.” he sounded frustrated. “It never goes away. Except...” he walked closer to her. “Right now, I feel no conflict, only certainty.” he touched her face. “When I’m by your side everything else vanishes.” 

Sara took his hand off her face. 

“I’ve listened to your explanations about that night. Now you have to stop coming here. It’s only hurting us both.” 

“Coming here is the only thing that doesn’t hurt me. It fills me up with joy to know that I’ll see you at the end of the day. It makes my duties bearable.” he took a step closer. 

“I don’t want to know about your duties or what makes them unbearable. I’ve heard enough stories about the Knights of Ren since the last time you were here. Is this all you had to tell me? The reason you blew up the Temple was because Master Luke was confused and tried to kill you? You freaked out. I get it. Although I don’t think that’s a good enough reason to join the Dark side. Maybe to run away from the Temple. But not fall into the Dark. You had me to help you. We promised to be together. You broke that promise, you lost my trust and...” 

“I broke your heart.” he murmured. 

“Yes.” she replied, trying hard not to cry. “And it took me years to mend it. Now you must stop coming here.” 

“That’s a promise I can’t make, for it’s doomed to be broken.” 

“What do you want from me, Ben? I’ve given you everything. My love, my friendship, my patience and comprehension. I accepted you as you are.” she closed the gap between their bodies, touching his chest. “The pull you feel towards me, because I balance your darkness and stop your conflict, has it never occurred to you that I feel a similar pull to you?” his eyebrows rose in surprise. And Sara continued: “I love the darkness I can feel inside you, I want to get lost in it, to never be found again.” she touched her nose to his chest, scenting his perfume. “When we’re close, like this,” she slightly rubbed her body against his, “There’s no pure-light in my mind,” she closed her eyes. “I can sense our powers mingling, finding balance.” she sighed in pleasure. “It is amazing to feel this again after all these years.” 

Ben didn’t waste any time, his left hand quickly found her waist and held her tight. He caressed her face with the right one, his thumb over her lips, the rosy lips he was dying to taste. She looked lost in the feeling of their powers mingling, her blue eyes unfocused, lips slightly parted, her long wavy brown hair cascading down her shoulders, she looked sexy and innocent – but he knew she hid wild fire under that sweet façade. And that only made him want her more. 

He took her lips in a dominating kiss, his tongue invading her mouth without asking for permission; she tasted just like he remembered, the feeling of her soft curvaceous body rubbing against his hard one making him want nothing but to rip out her clothes and make love to her right there on the table.  He pushed her up against the wall and drove her mad with desire, touching her body, making her whimper on his mouth. 

Sara’s hands fisted in his hair, going down his neck, caressing his chest over the thick layers of clothing he was wearing. She could feel his erection poking her belly, so she moved against him, creating friction between their bodies, increasing their desire.  

Ben’s lips on her neck, teasing her skin, while his hands tried to open her buttoned up blouse.  

“No. Ben, stop.” Sara regained a bit of her conscience and pushed him away. “We can’t do this.” she was breathless. “You’ll leave and I’ll be left behind with a broken heart to mend. Again. No.” she shook her head. “Just go, Ben.” she pointed to the door. “We already talked. Please stop coming here.” 

He hesitated, he wanted her, he loved her and he knew once he left that room her Light would stop holding his darkness a bay and he would feel all that anger and frustration he always felt when they were apart.  

“I don’t want to go.” 

“So I’ll leave first.” And she did. She walked past him and left not only the private room, but the Castle as well. Ben walked back to his table where the Knights were, they didn’t seem to notice that he had been absent for the past thirty minutes. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Flameout was an alcoholic beverage spiked with spice. When R2-D2 was briefly forced to work as an ambulatory bar aboard Jabba the Hutt's sail barge Khetanna, he notably served flameouts. (Canon)  
> 2\. The Meltdown was a alcoholic cocktail, said to be a more "sophisticated" version of the Reactor Core. The drink mixed Spice Liqueur with Lum and had no need to release the narcotic agents that the Reactor Core did. The Meltdown was also more expensive than the Reactor Core, typically costing ten to twelve credits. (Legends)   
> Geillian ale was a drink served at the HyperDive Cantina (in the Fathoms Resort located within Wildwater City on the world of Dac). (Legends)   
> 3\. Demicot silk was a brown fabric used in formal wear. Obi-Wan Kenobi had a formal robe made from it. (Legends)  
> 4\. Tatooine Sunset was an alcoholic beverage made of fermented fruit. It was available at Chalmun's Cantina, in the city of Mos Eisley, Tatooine. It was named after the sunsets of the planet Tatooine. (Canon)


	6. Love

**25 ABY**

“Sara! He’s here. Again.” Maz’s angry voice reached her. 

Sara was in the kitchen taking a big Roba pie out of the oven. She put the pie onto a table and leaned on that same table, closing her eyes, feeling very tired of that situation.

Maz appeared by the kitchen door, her augmented eyes staring daggers at Sara.

“I know, Maz.” she replied. “I know he’s here.”

“You have to put and end to this! He can’t keep on coming here every week. I hate to see you hiding in the kitchen! This situation is hurting you!”

“I know.” Sara whispered, looking at the hot pie in front of her. For a year now Ben had been visiting the cantina weekly. On most of those nights, Sara just hid in the kitchen, but some nights she was needed out front to serve the tables or mix drinks on the counter – then she had to face him. In all of those nights she ended up against some wall of the Castle being deliciously ravished by him – usually after arguing about his poor judgment to make decisions.

“My dear. I can’t forbid the Knights to come to the Castle, they are great clients and this is supposed to be neutral ground...” Maz continued, not as angry as before.

“I know. I know.”

Sara walked to the kitchen door to look at him, unable to stop the warm feeling of anticipation that spread over her body. He sat on the corner table and removed his mask, as usual. She walked back into the kitchen.

 _Are you too busy_ _?_  she heard his voice in her head.

 _Yes. I’m afraid I won’t be able to give you any attention tonight._ she lied, slicing up the Roba pie. Maz was still looking at her, as if she knew Sara was talking to Ben.

 _I can wait._ he said.

Sara closed her eyes, feeling her heart beat a little faster. 

_Let’s stop_ _whatever_ _this_ _is_ _, Ben. Just leave, stop coming here. You’re hurting me._

_I can’t_ _stop_ _._ _I need to see you. Let me just_ _stay_ _here,_ _l_ _et me just look_ _at you._

She smiled weakly.

 _Suit yourself_. she answered.

And he kept his word: the whole night he did nothing but sit there, watching her every move, only entering her mind when she started dancing with Pete, an old smuggler and Maz's friend.

 _You’d better stop that._  Sara heard Ben’s voice in her head.

 _Why? I like to dance._ _And P_ _ete is harmless._  she smiled at Ben, purposely intensifying her dance moves, inciting him.

Old Pete put his right hand on her waist during the dance and suddenly dropped to the floor, unconscious.

 _What have you done?_ Sara silently shouted at Ben, while kneeling down by Pete to check him.

_He’s just asleep._ _Nothing to_ _worry_ _about_ _. I asked you to stop._

_You’re insufferable!_

_And you like_ _it_ _._

Sara sighed, that was almost the truth: she didn’t like him, she loved him.

She helped Maz wake Pete up and, once the man was deemed fine, the owner of the Castle looked at her, knowingly.

“This wasn’t an accident, Sara.”

Sara just shook her head.

“You’re dismissed for the rest of the night, for the sake of my clients.” continued Maz. “I know we will both regret this, but you should just take him to your house and get him out of your system.”

Sara blushed, understanding her words. She nodded and walked to Ben’s table. 

“Follow me.” she ordered without looking back.

* * *

 

They walked out of the Castle and turned right, going uphill through a rocky path surrounded by the view of the mountains and rivers of Takodana.

“It’s beautiful here.” Sara heard him say.

“Yes. I love it here. Its peaceful and charming. Not as beautiful as Chandrila though.”

“No. No place is.” they arrived at a small cottage, with light-blue walls and white windows, a small porch in the front. “This your house?”

“Yes. I bought it with the money I got from selling my parent’s house.” she unlocked the front door. “Come in.”

He followed her inside, closing the door after him.

The living room and the kitchen shared the main space of the cottage. It was decorated with simplicity, femininity and good taste; white on the walls, a light wooden floor, large windows with transparent white curtains that slowly moved in the night breeze; there were some books on a shelf and a mirror on the left, a grey comfortable-looking couch in the living space with light-colored cushions on it. Also, in front of the couch, there was a small white fireplace and a coffee table – with Sara’s lightsaber on it. The small kitchen area was on the right corner of the room, it had white cupboards and cabinets and a square white table with four colourful chairs (salmon-pink, light green, sky-blue and lilac). It all looked cosy and homey. 

“This looks great. “ he said.

“Thanks. I decorated it myself.” she stopped by the fireplace, arms crossed. “Sit.” she ordered pointing to the couch. Ben obeyed. “Why are you here?”

“You invited me in.”

“Don’t be funny, Ben! Why do you keep on coming to Takodana?”

“The first time, I came here just to have a good time at the Castle. But then I saw you. And all I kept wanting was to come back and see you again. When I came for the second time and we kissed... I was doomed. I had to keep coming back. Knowing you were here and that I had the excuse of bringing the Knights to have fun at the cantina... I couldn’t, I can’t stay away.” he stood up and walked to her. “That same old feeling of calm waves on the beach hit me hard that first night I saw you. I’ve missed that, I’ve missed you more than I thought I would.”

Sara closed her eyes and uncrossed her arms, opening her eyes and trying to look at anything but him.

“And” he continued. “The other nights – those when we argued and kissed – just made me want you more. All I can think of is how good it must be to have you under me, to feel you in my arms, against my body.” he was right in front of her then; one hand putting a stray curl behind her right ear. “Touching you is all I have in my mind.” he pulled her close, bringing their bodies together. “And the memory of you melting against me, desiring more of my touches... that haunts me daily.” he was caressing her neck with his nose. “The past week I was useless, I couldn’t train properly, couldn’t focus enough to lift a rock. All I could think of was you. That’s why I came back.”

“You shouldn’t have.” she lightly pushed him away, looking into his dark eyes, trying to regain control of her body – which was oh-so-willing to let him find out how good it would be to fuck her. “This between us... It has no future.”

“But we promised to marry one day, remember?”

“We were stupid teens, Ben! We had a dream to pursue together: we were training to become Jedi. All was perfect. But then Snoke happened. And you... you ruined everything.”

“Skywalker ruined it.”

“You both did. He shouldn’t have thought that you had already made your decision and you should have trusted your uncle, learned from his mistakes.” she looked up into his eyes. “Let’s forget about it; it was four years ago. It brought us to where we are today. You’re a Knight, you work for Snoke. And I help Maz and have learned to like this planet.”

“Do you want me to leave?” he took a step back, putting space between them.

“No.” she whispered, shaking her head, trying to stop the tears in her eyes from falling. She gave a step forward, closing the space between them, and put her hands on his chest. “I want you to stay, to never leave and to always come back. But I know that’s impossible, I can’t ever have you.” she touched her forehead to his chest.

“Yes, you can.” he pulled her closer, holding her tight. 

Sara felt her legs go weak, the scent of his skin, his breath on her face, his hands on her body, all playing havoc with her senses. She looked up, into his eyes, and Ben used that moment to kiss her, suckling her bottom lip into his mouth before delving in with his tongue, finding hers. Sara’s hands encircled his neck, while his hands roamed her body.

Sara was full of new curves she didn’t have when they were just teenagers snogging in a cabin. And Ben had more muscles than she remembered; she pulled his shirt over his head and stared at the broad strong naked chest in front of her, his physical strength enhancing her desire for him. He pushed her against the wall, one strong leg finding its way between hers, then he began working on her blouse. He opened its buttons – each one revealing more soft creamy skin that he kissed and licked and bit mercilessly. He threw her blouse onto the floor and opened her brassiere, her full breasts now exposed to his pleasure, he gave them special attention, laving her nipples with attention, softly biting them, rolling them between his fingers, licking and foundling her breasts.

Sara was reduced to a babbling pile of desire. All she knew was to moan his name, pull his hair and gasp for air. The strong thigh between her legs, putting pressure on her centre, the delicious assault on her breasts, the image of the man she loved doing all of that to her. It was all too much.

He took her lips again, full of raw incontrollable desire.

“Where room?” he gasped against her lips.

“Last door on the right.” Sara whispered, breathing laboriously.

He held her tight against his body, walked towards the bedroom and pushed her against the wall again by the closed bedroom door;  touching her again, as if memorizing the feel of her skin.

With a movement of her hand the bedroom door slammed open.

“Now, Ben, take me to bed now! Before I regain my senses.”

And he complied, guiding them into the bedroom still keeping their bodies close together, kissing non-stop; he made her sit on the edge of the bed and removed his own boots and pants, quickly, leaving nothing on his body.

Sara stared at his naked body, feeling her desire increase by just staring at the raw strength of that man in front of her. She removed her own shoes and pants, Ben helped her get rid of her knickers.

He looked at her naked body for a few seconds. Sara could feel his desire growing, it took control of her, their powers connecting more strongly than ever before –  making the air thick, heavy with their feelings.

Ben made her lay down, putting his naked self over hers, matching her body’s form perfectly. He kissed her lips, finding her tongue with his and slowly kissing her, he nipped her jaw, neck, moving to her full breasts, where he laved her skin again, biting her already sensitive pink nipples, hearing her moan his name, begging for more. And he delivered. His hands venturing over her curved body, exploring. He trailed kisses from her breasts to her entrance – she was soaking wet for him. He wanted – no – he  _needed_  to taste her, all of her. So he lowered his face and licked her opening, making her gasp and arch her back. He tongue-fucked her for a while, her hands fisting on his hair.

“Now, Ben, I can’t take this anymore, fuck me.” Sara was totally lost in the pleasure he was giving her.

He closed his eyes, those words were like music to his ears. He wasted no time, positioning his painfully hard member onto her dripping entrance he began to penetrate her, as slowly as he could take it. Suddenly he felt something.

“Sara. You’ve never...?” he whispered.

She shook her head from side to side.

“No.” She whispered. “And I’m so happy that you’re my first.”

 _First and only_  he thought, feeling a strong and primitive male pride in that knowledge that she would be his, and only his. He pushed against the barrier of her virginity and felt it give in.

Sara gasped in pain.

He stopped.

“Don’t stop. Give me more. I kinda like the pain.” she touched his broad shoulders, feeling his muscles, “I’ve always dreamed about your strength, about how good it would be to be fucked by you.” he jerked his hips slightly. “Give me everything Ben, make me remember this night forever.”

And he did, starting with slow movements, to let her get used to his invasion – which was driving him mad with desire; she was tight and so hot and wet. Soon he was pistoning his hips in and out of her, sometimes fast, other times maddeningly slow. All the time kissing her lips, torturing her nipples, leaving marks of his fingers all over her hips and thighs from when he held her wide open for his pleasure.

He proved to her what she had always known: he was delicious, he was everything she had always wanted, she loved him with all her heart. And he was all the wrong decisions she could ever make in her lifetime, all of them together in a delicious male package.

Ben made her scream in pleasure, so much pleasure that her virgin body couldn’t take it anymore after de fourth orgasm – his second. Sara passed out. He removed his softening length from her come-slicked channel and watched her sleep, paying special attention to the details of their coupling: the marks his hands left on her hips, the hickeys he left all over her neck and breasts, how swollen and red her nipples were, and the delicious view of her slightly open thighs wet from their combined juices.

He felt desire arising again, he wanted more of her. He wanted to stay and never leave that pretty little cottage. But she was right: he was all the wrong decisions she could make in a lifetime. And he had to live with that. He lay down beside her, holding her warm body close to his and followed her to dreamland.

* * *

 

**In the morning**

Sara lazily stretched and felt a delicious pain all over her body – and that brought a smile to her lips. She could still sense the presence of the culprit in the house. She got up, feeling her thighs sticky – her smile broadening as she remembered how they had got that way. She grabbed a pair of knickers and a dress and left her room towards the bathroom – ogling the half naked male figure cooking something on the stove, his back to her. In the bathroom, she cleaned herself, peed and put on her clothes. When she opened the door, she found him setting the table.

Their eyes met and they smiled.

“Good morning.” Ben said, walking towards her and kissing her lips lovingly.

Sara crossed her arms behind his neck, deepening the kiss, feeling her body tremble, wanting him again.

Ben hauled her up and walked to the table he had just set, making her sit there, her dress up to her waist. His hands easily found their way to her knickers, ripping them up to access her entrance.

Sara freed his already hard member from his black pants, moving her hand up and down his length, making him moan against her neck. She guided him into herself, moaning loud when she felt him deep inside of her.

It wasn’t anything near the loving coupling of the previous night. It was furious and desperate. They both knew he would be gone after breakfast. He had already stayed too long in that planet, the Knights and Snoke would want an explanation. He would have to make one up, for he would never tell them the truth and put her in risk.

Her moaning increased and he felt her body stiffening as a strong orgasm took it over.

“I feel I’ll never have enough of you.” he groaned as he took nearly all of his length out of her only to penetrate her fully in one long thrust.

Sara grabbed a handful of the long black hair she loved so much and brought his lips to hers, he kissed her at the same pace he moved inside of her. She moaned loudly, he was driving her mad with pleasure.

They fucked on the breakfast table until Sara had come twice on his member and he couldn’t hold his own climax anymore; he spilled inside of her, loving the sight of his come dripping out of the swollen lips between her legs once he pulled out.

“Good morning.” she finally replied, between kisses, her eyes still closed, her body still shivering from the last orgasm.

“I made us breakfast.” he murmured over her reddened lips.

“I’ve noticed.” she chuckled and looked at him, suddenly serious. “I know you’ll leave this morning.”

“Yes. I have to go but I’ll...”

“Don’t come back.” Sara interrupted.

He wasn’t expecting those words.

“But I will...”

“No, Ben.” She touched his naked sweaty chest, sadness filling her eyes. “I’ve always loved you. The day we first met I was drawn to you, talking to you was easy and fun. I dare say it was love at first sight. And it only grew. When we split up four years ago, I had to fend for myself – I was an orphan with no place to live. So I did all I could to bury my feelings for you, focusing on my survival. But now, you come here and undo all my hard work of forgetting you;  you not only unburied my feelings, no, you are also feeding them with hope.” she got off of the table and stared up at his face.“ I can’t live like this; wondering when you’ll come back, if you’re alive and well; or asking myself how many people you’ve killed today. I won’t have anything to do with the Dark Side. You chose that path, I won’t follow you.” she finished with tears in her blue eyes.

Ben stared at her, in silence. He had known all along that would be her position – she was filled with too much Light to ever consider joining the Dark Side. And that same Light was what had attracted him to her at the tender age of nine; he had always been conflicted, always divided between the light and dark inside of him, and there she was – full of light and confidence. He was drawn like a moth to flame.

“I will come back. When you least expect, I’ll be here, in this cottage, in your bed. Loving you.”

Sara closed her eyes as if he had slapped her face and tears fell.

“Don’t do this, Ben. We can’t be together, the dreams we once had, the things we promised, they don’t belong to us anymore.”

He turned around and walked into the bedroom without saying another word; he walked out, fully dressed, a minute later. 

Sara was staring outside, through the kitchen window, the bucolic scene that she loved – of the mountains, the tall colourful trees and the stream that ran by her house – was not enough to cheer her up that day. He held her from behind and turned her around to face him. 

“I will return.”

She shook her head, silent tears running down her face.

“I love you. You’re mine now. And I will return.” he repeated.

“Please, Ben, don’t do this to us. Don’t come back.” she whispered against his chest.

He put a hand under her chin and made her look up at him. Then he kissed her lovingly, and walked to the front door, closing it as he left.

Sara sat on her lilac kitchen chair and cried, her heart breaking again for a love she knew she could never live.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roba pie was a type of savory pie made by members of the Mandalorian culture from the meat of a roba, a porcine species native to the Outer Rim world of Aralia. (Legends) 


	7. Marriage and Sorrow

 

Two weeks had gone by and no sign of Ben. 

“I’m glad you sent him away, Sara.” said Maz one night, while Sara mixed a Tattooine Sunset at the counter. 

“Yeah. Me too.” Sara replied unenthusiastically. 

“Don’t lie to me, dear.” Maz held her left hand between her two, making Sara stop preparing the drink. “I can see you’re suffering. And I can sense your inner Light burning brighter, trying to call him to you.” 

“I love him, Maz. I always have.” Sara was on the verge of tears. 

“Did you tell him to not come back?” 

“Yes. To never return. But he said he would come back anyway. And that’s what is killing me –  imagining that he’s on his way, maybe today, tomorrow, someday.” 

“You gave yourself to him that night.” 

“Yes. And it was... as wonderful as I had ever imagined.” she sighed. “You said to get him out of my system. I tried. And I failed brilliantly. Now I crave him more than ever.” 

“Your inner Light will bring him back, there’s too much darkness in him, he needs and wants your light. And if you’re miserable without him, imagine how he must be.” Maz sighed, seriously considering her next words: “Well, taking into account how doomed this whole situation seems to be, I feel compelled to say: marry him, dear, and live life as you can for now; all this suffering will return, but later rather than daily.” 

“But it’ll come any way.” said Sara. 

“Yes. But later. Allowing you to be happy instead of miserable in the present.” 

“I don’t know, Maz. Why be happy now, knowing that I’ll be suffering in a few years?” Sara went back to mixing the drink. 

“Just think about it.” 

And she did. Maz’s words stayed in her mind the entire night; there was a possibility for happiness, a small one, but a possibility nonetheless. 

Later, when Sara was already in her bed, ready to sleep, she decided that Maz was right. Until the First Order destroyed the New Republic, or vice-versa, she could be happy beside the man she loved. Taking a deep breath Sara allowed sleep to take her, with a smile on her face and hope in her heart. 

 

* * *

 

Three days after her talk with Maz, Sara felt Ben’s presence in the planet. But he didn’t walk into the cantina with the Knights. 

“Maz!” she ran into de kitchen. “Can I go home now? Please.” 

Maz smiled knowingly 

 “Yes, dear. Go home and be happy.” 

And Sara ran. 

 

* * *

 

She opened the door of the cottage, smiling when she saw the long black cape on the couch – he was really there. She heard the shower running and quickly removed all of her clothes and shoes and walked into the bathroom. His silhouette could be seen through the etched glass of the shower stall: his wet shoulder-length hair, broad shoulders, strong thighs. Sara didn’t lose another minute, she walked into the stall and under the water spray, letting herself be ravished by the tall, powerful man in there. Ben pulled her naked body towards his and took her mouth, passionately, touching her every crease and curve, with the excuse of helping her get clean. 

Sara got on her knees and worked his hard member with her mouth and hands, hollowing her cheeks, making him groan and put his right hand on her head, controlling her moves. Her tongue encircled the head of his length, paying special attention to the sensitive underside. He looked down and the sight of her lips stretched around his cock was too much, he came hard down her throat, both his hands on her head. Once he regained his senses, he helped her get up and kissed her lustfully. 

When they left the bathroom, naked and wet, Sara was a shivering mess of desire. She lay down on the bed, on her back, and her hands immediately found her slick entrance. She moaned his name, begging him to make love to her. 

“I thought I’d be received with arguments and laser swords.” said Ben, standing by the door and looking at her naked form on the bed. “Instead a got blown in the shower and now I find a delicious view such as this on the bed, waiting for me.” 

“Yeah. Now, be a good boy, for once, and fuck me hard. I need you.” Sara said, breathless in her desire. 

And he got on the bed, on his knees, ordering: “Get on all fours.” and she promptly obeyed, putting her bottom up in the air and her head down on the bed; he held her hips adoringly, kissing both her butt cheeks, his hands going up and down her spine, caressing her skin; he opened her thighs further apart, before guiding his member into her dripping wet entrance, penetrating her in one long hard thrust, without any warning. He held onto her hips and fucked her, one of his hands went down between her legs and found her clitoris, his fingers teased and massaged it, making her stick her ass higher and beg for more. He sped up his thrusts, hitting her cervix, filling her up with his length. Three thrusts later, her channel clenched around his member and, with a pleasure-filled scream, a strong orgasm took her.  

Ben flipped her over, onto her back, and penetrated her body again, making her moan louder and arch her back, feeling his member hit deeper inside of her. 

Sara moved her hips up, matching every thrust of his, her nails leaving marks on his arms and back. He took her lips, his tongue mimicking the rhythm of his penetration. Sara was lost in the pleasure he was giving her, she wanted to scream, but his mouth never left hers, so she bit his lips, making him pull his mouth away from hers. She moaned loud, reaching a second strong climax and asking for more. 

“Yes.” his voice hoarse. “Come on my cock!” and he quickened his thrusts, eliciting more moans and screams from her. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her, her face contorted in pleasure, swollen rosy lips parted, gasping for air, her eyes closed, her long hair spread out all over the pillow – she was sex personified.  

Ben lost count of how many orgasms she had, but he only stopped after his third climax, nearly a dry one, having spent all of his come inside her already. 

He lay down beside her and Sara laid her head on his chest, passing out, murmuring:  _I love you._  

He smiled and allowed himself to sleep a full night, finally feeling at home. 

 

* * *

 

**During breakfast the next morning**

“So, was I a _good boy_  last night?” Ben asked, jokingly. 

“Yes.” Sara smiled. “Almost  _too_  good, actually. You can be a bit bad, you know. I like it.” she smiled mischievously and took a bite of her sandwich. 

“Well, I promise to think of something  _very bad_  for next time.” he said, making her smile broaden. He poured himself some spiced caf and became suddenly serious: “Considering I was  _that_  good, what do you think of returning to that question I asked you some years ago?” 

“What question?” she asked, not understanding what he meant. 

“About you... marrying me.” he said, looking at her and putting a small black jewelry box onto the table, opening it. 

Sara put her sandwich down and stared at the beautiful white gold ring that rested inside the black velvet box, a sparkling red Rol Stone lay in the middle of an eight-petaled flower and, on both sides of the flower, there were seven small transparent Ulikuo gemstones. 

“This is beautiful, Ben.” she spoke in awe. 

“You’re making me nervous, Sara... will you be so kind to answer me? Please.” 

“Yes.” she smiled at him. “Of course I’ll marry you. I’ve already answered that, many years ago.” 

He picked up the ring from its box and placed it on her left ring finger. 

 

* * *

 

They had a very beautiful private cerimony; Maz Kanata was their only guest and witness. They married in the old ways: the simple cerimony consisted of exchanging vows in front of a witness, kissing and making love (no witnesses required for that last part). 

And they lived happily for two years. Until... 

 

* * *

 

**27 ABY**

 

Sara was lying on the couch, her head on her husband’s lap, resting after having delicious lunch, a book in her hands. Ben had arrived home just before noon that day; and he seemed worried, checking something in a communication pad every hour. Suddenly, he broke the peaceful silence: 

“Master Snoke wants me to live permanently with him, to complete my training.” 

“Your  _sith_  training.” she replied without looking up from her book. 

He ignored her words and the disdainful tone. 

“We will have to move to Rakata Prime; it’s a planet in the Unknown Regions, so I can be close...” 

“Stop right there.” she closed her book and looked up at him. “ _We_  aren’t going anywhere. I’m not following you into this. I’ve always made myself clear about that.” she sat up. 

“You’re my wife. We are together for better or worse.” 

“No, not where Snoke is concerned.” she put the book on the coffee table and stood up. 

“Sara, I can’t tell Snoke that I won’t be finishing my training because my wife – which he doesn’t know about – doesn’t want to move to Rakata Prime!” he stood up as well. 

“I’ve always known this day would come.” she said, looking at the window, her back to him, sadness heavy in her voice. “The day you would have to choose between me and him. Even knowing you’d never choose me, I kept hoping; I hoped that, when the day came, you’d choose me. But I see now that all of this meant nothing to you.” 

“How can you think that?” he sounded outraged. 

“Because you’re leaving me!” she turned around to face him. “It doesn’t matter what I say. Your  _Master_  told you to live near him. And you’re going!” 

“You can go with me.” 

“No!” she was definite about it. “You’ve always known that I would never go with you down that path.” 

Ben tried to explain his reasons: “There's rumour of a map that might lead to Skywalker.” 

“Master Luke went into hiding because he didn’t want to be found! Isn’t it obvious?” she sounded frustrated. “Leave the man alone, Ben! He failed you, you destroyed his Temple. You’re even. Forget it now.” 

“Leader Snoke wants him dead.” 

“And you’ll help him?” 

“The Knights will.” 

“Right.” she answered sarcastically. “And you just  _h_ _appen_  to be the Master of them.” she sighed. “I am not going anywhere.” she walked to the kitchen to get some water. 

“But I must move to the Unknown Regions!” 

“Have a nice trip. “ she said weakly, her back to him, fighting to keep the tears from falling. 

Ben walked to the kitchen. 

“You’re letting me go. Just like that!” he angrily accused her. 

“No!” she turned to face him, the sadness mixing up with anger. “I am asking you to choose! But, as always, you make the stupidest decision.” she walked to the front door. “I have to go to work. You can pack your own things. Goodbye, Ben.” and she left. 

 

* * *

 

By the time Sara arrived at the Castle, the years were rolling down her face unstoppably. She entered through the kitchens and Maz went to her. 

“My dear, what...?” 

“He’s leaving me, Maz. He’s made his choice.” she kneeled on the floor, het hands covering her tear stained face. 

“We've always known he would do this, dear.”  

“Yes, but I had hoped...” and the tears made it impossible for her to continue. 

“And now the suffering returns with a vengeance.” murmured Maz, hugging Sara. 

 

* * *

 

About an hour after she had arrived at the Castle, Sara felt Ben’s presence leave the planet. 

He had really abandoned her. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:  
> 
> 1\. Spiced caf was a blend of caf that made use of spices to enhance the drink's flavor. The Oyu'baat cantina on Mandalore, located within the planet's capital city of Keldabe, served spiced caf. The beverage gained a degree of notability over time, even among non-Mandalorians, and it became a popular menu item. (Legends) 
> 
> 2\. Rakata Prime is a planet located in the grid area G-11 of the galaxy's Unknown Regions. Tryki, a former Zabrak pirate, was arrested for attempting to board a First Order cruiser near the planet. (Canon) 
> 
> 3\. Ulikuo gemstones were precious stones valued for aesthetics and industrial applications. Their cultural significance warranted unauthorized mining a crime punishable by lifetime imprisonment. Traditionally, Tapani nobles presented ulikuo gemstones to each other as part of a marriage proposal. (Legends) 
> 
> 4\. Rol Stones were sparkling red gems used to make expensive jewelry and lightsabers. (Legends)  
> 
>  
> 
> And you know the “arguments and laser swords” Ben thought he would get in this chapter? They’ll come in the next one!  


	8. Surprises

**30 ABY**

**8 p.m.**

It was a beautiful night; the moon was full, shinning bright in the dark blue sky, night owls were hooting on the trees – just another normal workday in Sara’s life. She had woken up to an empty house, had breakfast by herself, tended her garden, had lunch by herself, trained and meditated during the afternoon. She no longer worked all afternoons at the cantina, if she was needed, Maz called her, otherwise she had mornings and afternoons for herself. 

She was walking downhill to the Castle, admiring the beautiful night, her thoughts on one man, as usual; she couldn’t avoid it, everything in Takodana reminded her of her husband.  _Husband_. she thought, looking at the red-stone ring that still adorned her finger. She hadn’t had the courage to take it off. It also helped to keep her from receiving unwanted attention (most days, anyway).

She reached the parking lot of the Castle, recognizing many of the ships parked there.

Suddenly, a strong wind hit Sara from behind – the air displacement that happened whenever a big ship landed. Once the wind subsided, she turned around to see who was arriving, and her heart skipped a beat: it was an Upisilon-class shuttle.

“No.” she whispered.  _Please don’t let it be him._ she heard the sound of the engines being turned off.  _M_ _aybe it’s not him. His is not the only_ _Upisilon_ _in the Galaxy._

The door of the shuttle opened and all of her hopes were crushed.

“Hello, beautiful.” greeted Jon – the Knight who always flirted with her.  “What an honor to have you come to the parking lot to receive us.”

“I was just walking to the Castle, Jon.”

“Hey, still wearing that ring?” he continued. “When will you leave your husband and elope with me?”

“Stop it.” she said, smiling; she new it was all in good fun, Jon had always respected her.

Sara didn’t look at the other Knights, she turned around and kept walking to the Castle, Jon and the others right behind her. She couldn’t avoid trying to feel Ben’s presence though. She was relieved and disappointed when she couldn’t feel him.

She guided the Knights into the cantina and to their usual tables, then she went to the counter to get their orders. She walked back towards them.

“Here you are, guys.” she put all the glasses and snacks on the tables. “One Knight short today?” she couldn’t help asking.

“What?” Jon asked, confused. He looked around the table and chuckled. “Commander Kylo had a lover on this planet till three years ago. He used to go straight to her house as soon as we arrived. He might have gone looking for her.”

It took Sara a while to realize he was talking about her, and not another woman.

“So he did come with you?” she needed the confirmation.

“Of course. And he’ll probably return to the ship only tomorrow. As he used to.” Jon began eating and Sara returned to the counter.

“He here?” Maz asked her.

“Jon says he is but, I don’t see or feel him nearby.”

“If he landed but isn’t here, you know where he is.”

Sara just nodded, filling up more glasses with Gardulla, her back turned to the other female.

“Will you go to him?” asked Maz, worried.

“I don’t know what to do, actually. I’ve never expected him to come back.”

“Do you want to see him?” 

“Yes. And no.” she turned around to face Maz. “I want to hurt him and fuck him – it that exact order.”

Maz sighed and took the empty glasses from Sara’s hands.

“So go, dear. He  _is_  your husband after all.”

Sara just turned around and walked out of the Castle through the kitchen door.

* * *

As she reached the cottage she tried to feel his presence again. Nothing. But she could see him through the living room window.  _He must have learned how to hide his presence_ , she thought. That was a neat trick to be used during a fight against another Force-sensitive person, it made it harder for the opponent to guess where you’d be attacking from.

She took a deep breath and returned the favor, hiding her presence from him as well. Then she walked to the porch and opened the front door. His cape was on its usual spot on the couch, and Ben was in the kitchen, his back to her. He hadn’t noticed her arrival. So Sara summoned her lightsaber from the coffee table and ignited it, making him turn around, his own laser sword also ignited and in his hand. He lowered his guard when he saw it was her and opened his mouth to say something but Sara attacked him – taking him by surprise. He blocked her first blows, delivering some of his in return – she deflected them all. Sara was faster and much more technical than he in sword fighting. He had never bested her at Luke’s Praxeum. No one ever had. She tried to hit him repeatedly, one fast blow after another. He noticed then that she wasn’t aiming at anything vital, she was only furious at him. But if he didn’t stand his ground she could easily cut one of his arms off. So the white and the red lightsabers met furiously, non-stop. She hit his right shoulder, making him shout in pain before attacking her even harder. But he missed all of his blows – also trying to avoid any vital part of her. Sara walked backwards and fell onto the couch but effectively deflected his blow to her left leg – the red lightsaber finding the soft couch, cutting it in two. She recovered quickly, jumping onto the coffee table and trying to hit his right arm again – her lightsaber broke the ceiling light bulb and missed Ben, adding another hole to the couch. The room became dark, only the white and red lights from their swords lit the room. They stared at each other, both breathless and sweaty, some of Ben’s hair strands stuck to his face, luckily Sara had braided her own earlier, so it wasn’t bothering her.

They circled each other in the small space between the living room and the kitchen, until Sara attacked again, going straight to the left side of his abdomen. Ben deflected her blow and attacked her, but Sara was too fast for him, she jumped to the side and backed him against the kitchen table, pushing her lightsaber against his, mindful of the two extra handles his red one had. She looked angry but collected while he was confused, not knowing what to do. Ben knew he wouldn’t be able to win that fight.

“I yield!” he shouted, still pushing his lightsaber against hers, the edge of the table under him starting to hurt his lower back.

Sara didn’t listen. She pushed harder until she managed to disarm him, his lightsaber flying through the room, falling by the trashed couch.

She turned her laser sword off and stared at him; only the moonlight that entered the room through the windows lit the room. They were both breathing laboriously.

Ben moved away from the table, straightening up his back, and towering over her by a foot, amazed, as always, that such an innocent-looking, pretty woman could defeat him in battle. But another feeling was mingled with his amazement: desire – he was horny. 

Sara couldn’t find the strength to take her eyes off of him. She had fought him, hurt him, now she wanted to fuck him. 

They met halfway in a furious kiss, hands touching everywhere, ripping clothes in a desperate pace.  Ben hauled her up, her legs around his waist, and walked to the bedroom, putting her down by the bed. She was already half naked, her brassiere and knickers still on, items that he quickly ripped out of her body, working on the remains of his own clothes afterwards: a torn black shirt and zipper-busted black pants. He grabbed her by the hips and took her lips again, Sara whimpered against him, the feeling of their naked bodies touching making her tremble with desire. He made her walk backwards until she fell onto the bed; he covered her soft, curvaceous body with his hard one, opening her legs wide for his pleasure and penetrated her with his rock hard member, filling her completely, relishing the feeling of total pleasure that he felt in that moment. Sara arched her back, lost in the feeling of having him inside of her again, and the balance his darkness offered her. She closed her eyes and gave herself over to him, completely taken by the sensations he caused to her body and spirit. He thrust into her with abandon, feeling her slick channel clenching around his member. He had dreamed daily about having her under him again, seeing that look of pure pleasure on her face, that beautiful, powerful woman, screaming in pleasure at the end of his cock. 

No words were spoken, only groans, moans and gasps were heard.

After they were both completely spent, Sara dropped down onto the bed by his side, falling asleep instantly. Ben watched her sleep for a while, feeling her sadness even during sleep. He caressed her sweaty face, pulling strands of hair out of her forehead. He felt complete right there, in that bed, in that little blue cottage. By her side he could allow his thoughts to run free, he could dream of never leaving that place again. He laid his head on his old pillow and pulled her to his chest, his eyes being captured by a red glow. _The ring!_ he looked at it in awe. She still wore it. He kissed her hand and wondered how could he have been so stupid to leave her. The past three years had made him stronger, but completely miserable. He felt out of control whenever he was away from her, Sara was his safe haven; he was lost, and miserable, without her.

He fell asleep by the sound of her breathing, taking comfort in her weight on his chest and her scent on his skin.

* * *

**In the next morning**

Sara woke up feeling completely satisfied, she lazily stretched and yawned before sitting up. The sound of dishes being put on the table made her jump and realize that the previous night had really happened. She looked around the bedroom, her undergarments were rags on the floor, as was his shirt. She remembered the lightsaber duel and laughed. She couldn’t believe it was all true.

Ben walked into the room when he heard her laughter.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, smiling.

“What have we done?” she asked. “ Is the couch really wrecked?” 

“I'm afraid so.” he sat in front of her on the bed.

She laughed again, only stopping when she looked into his eyes, sadness replacing the joy in her blue eyes.

“Why are you here, Ben?”

“I... I wanted to see you.”

“You have seen me. Now leave, please.” her voice was low, but determined.

He took her hand and kissed the ring again.

“You still wear it.”

“Yes.” she took her hand away from his lips. “Why? Do you want me to take it off? Do you want it back?” she looked afraid of his next answer.

“No! Never! This is yours. As am I.”

Sara closed her eyes.

“Just go.” she spoke softly.

“I will. I made you breakfast.” he got up from the bed and picked up his torn shirt.

“Goodbye, Ben.” he heard her say, “Don’t come back. Please.”

“I’ll try not to.” he reluctantly said. “Goodbye, Sara.” and he left.

* * *

Two months after that night, Maz Kanata showed up at the cottage’s door early on Sunday morning.

“Good morning, Maz. Come in. Have you had breakfast already?” Sara walked into the kitchen area. It wasn’t absolutely strange for Maz to visit her, so she didn’t immediately think anything of it.

“No, dear. Mind if I join you for breakfast?”

“Not at all. Sit down at the table, the eggs will be ready soon.” Sara walked to the stove and finished  the scrambled eggs, walking to the table with the hot pan in hands.

“So, what brings you here so early?” asked Sara as she sat down.

“I was wondering if you’ve felt a change in the Force recently. Very subtle. Nothing big.”

“No. I can’t say I have.” Sara became thoughtful. “Well, now that you mentioned it, last week I felt something, very subtle, as you said, but I quickly dismissed it for it was just too subtle. Probably a new Force-sensitive child being born.”

“Something like that, yes.” Maz looked worried. “How have you been these past months, dear? After his last visit.”

“I am fine. As fine as I can possibly be.” she smiled weakly.

“No weird feelings?”

“ _Weird_   _feelings_? What kind of question is that? Why are you really here, Maz?”

“Dear Sara. I believe the slight change in the Force that we both felt was indeed from a Force-sensitive child – but one that hasn’t been born yet, it was just manifesting itself for the first time.”

“How could we feel a child that hasn’t been born yet, Maz? Her mother would have to be very close to us and the child would have to be really strong with the Force to...” Sara noticed the strange look Maz was giving her. “What?”

“I think you’re pregnant.” Maz simply said.

“What? No, it can’t be. I can’t be. No.” Sara denied, thinking what could possibly make Maz think such thing.

“Search your feelings, dear. See if you find anything.”

Sara closed her eyes, ready to prove her friend wrong. But then she felt it: a small presence, a second heartbeat, a different Force inside of her own body. It was such a beautiful feeling, so peaceful and untarnished – pure and full of love. She gasped, and opened her eyes, the emotions too strong for her to contain.

“Its true...” she whispered. “You’re right, Maz. I’m pregnant.”

“Well then, congratulations, my dear.” she got up to hug an astonished Sara.

“I... Ben can’t know. “ she said, looking at Maz, fearing for her unborn baby. “I can’t let Snoke know about this child, he may try to corrupt it like he did with Ben.”

“We’ll protect it, Sara. I’ll help you.”

Sara caressed her flat belly, happiness taking over her. 

“A baby. Mine and Ben’s baby.” she said softly.

“A baby made with love, it’s always a blessing.” Maz commented. “Now, eat, dear, you have a baby to feed.”

And Sara obeyed, a big smile on her face.

* * *

Another three months went by. Sara reached 5 months into her pregnancy with no health issues, her round belly was nearly impossible to hide, so she made up a story of a dead husband and everybody believed her.

* * *

Sara was in the Castle, at the counter, working, when a familiar face caught her attention amidst all the clients.

“Han Solo!” she heard Maz shouting, confirming her suspicions. “What brings you here?”

“The Falcon was stolen.”

“No! That’s awful!  And where’s my boyfriend?”

“Chewie is watching the ship, I don’t want to have another one stolen.” Han looked around the bar and his eyes found a familiar face. “Is that... Sara Antilles?”

“Oh, yes. She’s been working here for years now.”

“Leia was looking for her. How come I’ve never seen her here before?”

“She’s not always on the counter, most days she manages the kitchen for me.”

“She was a great friend of...”

“Your son. I know. He’s been around sometimes in the past. With his Knights.”

“When did you last see him?”

“About five months ago.”

“How was he?”

“Tall and handsome. He came in, spoke to Sara and left.” Maz lied.

Han sighed sadly and walked towards Sara.

“Sara Antilles.”

“Hey, Mr. Solo.”

“Stop that, kid. Call me Han, remember? Uncle Han.”

“Ok. It’s just been so long I thought...”

“Once my niece always my niece.” he said playfully.

 _They have the same smile,_ Sara thought.  _Ben l_ _ooks so much like his father_ _..._  she sighed, her thoughts taking her away, making her forget she had been talking to Han.

“Are you all right, kid?” he asked, worried.

“Oh, yes, I’m just tired.” she shook her head slowly. “Working too much, I think.”

“Maz!” Han shouted. “I’m taking Sara home. She looks sick.”

Maz looked at her and nodded.

“Sure. Go home, dear. And rest.”

And Sara walked home escorted by her father-in-law.

* * *

They walked slowly towards Sara’s house.

“Nice ring you have there.” said Han, pointing to her sparkling-red engagement ring. “That’s a Rol Stone and those are Ulikuo gemstones.”

“Yes.” she looked at it lovingly.

“You married?”

“Yes.”

“Who is he? A pirate? Smuggler?”

“He was a trader. But he died two months ago.” she lied.

“And left you a bun in the oven.” he pointed to her belly. 

“It’s already impossible to hide, right?” she caressed her bump lovingly.

“Yeah, and the slow way you’re walking, it reminded me of when Leia was pregnant.”

They arrived at the cottage.

“This is where I live.” Sara announced.

“It’s pretty.”

“Do you want to get in and rest? You look tired too.” she offered.

“No. Chewie is waiting for me. We are looking for the Falcon, Gannis Ducain stole it from me.”

“I’ve heard the Irving Boys might have her.”

“Really? Thanks kid. I’ll look into that right away.” he hugged her. “Take care. And don’t be a stranger. Call Leia. She’ll love to hear from you. We were almost family, after all.”

“I will.” she replied before walking inside, straight into the kitchen – she was famished.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Gardulla was a beverage that Jabba Desilijic Tiure would occasionally share with the bounty hunter Boba Fett in his palace on Tatooine. (Canon) 
> 
> 2\. At some point in the years following the Battle of Jakku, the Falcon was stolen from Solo by Gannis Ducain. It was in turn stolen by Toursant Irving and Vanver Irving—also known as the Irving Boys—before finally ending up in the possession of junk boss Unkar Plutt. In his possession, it would sit unused for years in Niima Outpost on the junkyard planet Jakku. (Canon) 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you're thinking! Review!


	9. A Conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here begins The Force Awakens, so from now on I’ll be following the movies, and changing things as I see fit to make this story flows like I want it to. Anything you recognize is not mine. Thank you for your comprehension. 

**34 ABY**

**D'Qar**

**The Resistance Base**

Once again Poe Dameron caught himself calling her, he didn’t exactly understand why he was passing on information unrelated to medical aid to someone who worked in their medical bay, but there he was. It felt wrong, odd, like he shouldn’t be doing that — but still he hid in his private quarters to call her. He told himself that it wasn’t like he was sending classified information to the First Order. However, he still didn’t understand why he called her.  _W_ _ell, she asked me_ _to keep her updated_ _on her first day_ _with_ _the_ _Resistance_. She had asked and he had delivered once and nearly daily ever since. It had become an automatic thing. He sat on his bed with his compad in hands and punched in the code to call her. 

“Hello”, he heard her lightly accented voice.

“Hey, I’ve got updates. We know someone who has a piece of the map, Lor San Tekka. He’s a member of the Church of the Force who lives in a spiritual village on Jakku.  I’ll be flying there to meet him in a few minutes.”

“Good. Thanks for letting me know.”

And she hung up.

It was always that awkward: he gave her information, she said ' _good_ _'_ and ' _thanks_ _'_  and that was it.

He shook his head as if trying to get rid of a fly in his ears, he always felt weird after talking to her. He resumed his preparations to go meet Tekka.

* * *

Sara was finishing her duties at the medical bay, but her mind was on Jakku, in the piece of the map that Poe said Tekka had.  _The First Order probably_ _knows_ _about it too_ _;_ _Ben knows about it, he’ll_ _certainly_ _be there_. She closed the door of the medical bay and walked towards her private quarters, still thinking about him; in the four years since she had last seen Ben, there wasn’t a day where she didn’t think of him. She had a living, walking reminder of him by her side after all – their daughter was Ben’s female version, only with blue eyes and curly hair. 

Sara walked by the control room, always careful to avoid being seen by General Organa; she didn’t know how Leia would receive her or the news of having a granddaughter; also, she feared that her mother-in-law blamed her somehow for all that had happened at Luke’s Temple. Sara was about to turn right and head to her rooms when she heard:

“Tekka was killed, and the spiritual village destroyed by stormtroopers and the Knights of Ren.” said Lieutenant Kaydel Ko Connix.

“And Poe sent us a message: he placed the information about the map into his BB unit and gave himself over to the Knights to give the droid time to escape.” said Commander Joph Seastriker.

“It’s confirmed.” said another man. “Poe has been captured and taken aboard the Finalizer.”

“I am afraid he won’t be able to get away this time.” murmured Connix.

“He always finds a way.” said Admiral Ackbar.

“Let’s hope so.” said Leia.

Sara resumed walking to her private quarters, feeling sorry for Poe, he was a nice man. And Tekka and villagers... Ben had killed them all. She tried to not think about it, focusing on her daughter who she had to feed and bath.

* * *

**Inside** **the** **Command** **Room**

General Leia Organa was lost in her own thoughts, her eyes on the many screens in front of her, but not really seeing anything. She was worried about Poe’s situation. Ben was aboard the Finalizer – who knew what he would do to the Resistance pilot. Also, in her mind was Poe’s countless calls to their medical bay. Leia actually saw no harm in allowing them to happen, but it sure intrigued her.  _Why send_ _field_ _information to the medical_ _bay? I_ _nformation completely unrelated to their duties._ She didn’t know who was the woman to whom he called, she was a recent addition to the Resistance, she had yet to meet her, but whoever she was, Leia was certain she was Force-sensitive.

“General!” suddenly she heard Connix’s urgent voice calling her attention. “We’ve got a distress signal from Jakku! 

“Put it through.” Leia ordered.

 “General.” it was Poe’s voice through the intercom.  “Can I get a lift?”

Leia smiled, relieved.

“Sure, commander, are you all right or should I send you to the infirmary?”

“That would be a good idea. Some bruises and a tortured mind needing some healing.” he sounded tired.

“A ship will be on your way promptly. I’ll meet you at the medical bay.” she would take the opportunity to meet the woman to whom Poe had been sending information.

* * *

**In** **the** **infirmary**

Sara watched the sleeping man on the bed; Poe's condition was stable, he was just bruised and confused – someone had messed up with his mind — and she knew who. She had patched his wounds and healed his mind. Sara had asked to be his assigned nurse, feeling that she owed him, for all the information he had been giving her since she got there. Now, she sat on a chair by his bed, just enjoying a few minutes of silence. That was hard to find in D'Qar: silence. There were always shouting and running and one fight after the other. She had had a hard time adapting to that; meditating at night helped her find some peace, but the days were always chaotic. Sara closed her eyes, memories of her peaceful life prior to her joining the Resistance were what kept her sane – and knowing that her daughter was safer in D'Qar than in Takodana also helped. But in moments of silence, she let her mind go back home, to the peaceful mountain where their blue and white cottage sat, the comforting sound of the stream that ran close by. She even missed the busy hours she worked at Maz’s Castle. Suddenly, the sound of the door opening brought her back to reality.

The last person she wanted to see walked in.

“General Organa.” Sara said, standing up.

Leia stopped in shock when she recognized who that woman was.

“Sara Antilles?” she whispered.

“Hi, Princess Leia.” that was the title Sara usually called her.

Leia just looked at her for a minute, as if she was seeing a ghost – memories of the past, of all that had happened and all the could have been passing through her mind. 

“It’s so good to see you.” she finally said, sounding relieved; she walked towards Sara and hugged her.  _This could_ _have been my daughter-in-l_ _aw._  Leia thought. _If only Ben hadn’t..._  she forced herself to stop that thought.

Sara tried not to cry while they hugged. It was great to be received by Leia in such a caring way, she had been so afraid of meeting her.

 “My dear. Is Poe ok? Could we go somewhere private to talk?” Leia asked.

Sara nodded, wiping a tear that had rolled down her face.

They left Poe’s sick room and Sara followed Leia into an empty conference room. Leia closed the door after them and turned to face the beautiful young woman. She opened her arms and Sara hugged her again. After a while they broke the embrace and sat on the armchairs on the corner of the room.

Sara looked at Leia, nervously. 

“Why are you so apprehensive, dear?” Leia asked.

“You are the only one here that knows who I am. And...”

“You don’t want anyone finding out the truth about your powers. I understand. But using the Force to persuade Poe into giving you information was not a clever move if you wanted to be incognito.”

Sara blushed and tried to explain:

“I needed to know what was happening. No one would tell me anything when I arrived, I had to do something.”

“Why didn’t you come to me when you arrived here?”

“I was afraid. I didn’t know if you blamed me or...”

“Blamed you? Why would I do that?”

“Because I was there, at the Temple, that night, and I did nothing to stop Ben from... doing what he did. I couldn’t stop him from fleeing. I feel somewhat responsible for his stupid actions. Maybe if I had warned Master Luke that Snoke was trying to seduce Ben...”

“Nothing that happened at the Temple was your fault.” Leia interrupted Sara. “My brother and my son made their own choices and those brought us to where we are today. None of it was your fault.”

Sara smiled, all nervousness vanishing from her body.

“Thank you. I am relieved to know that’s how you think.”

“Now tell me how have you been all these years? I vaguely remember Han telling me he saw you in Takodana, that you were pregnant and alone. A widow he said you were.” Leia looked at the red Rol stone in the flower-shaped ring in Sara’s finger. “That’s a beautiful engagement ring, dear.”

“Yes. I remember seeing Han about four years ago at Maz's Castle. I was pregnant and I told him I was a widow.” Sara touched the ring.

“You  _told_  him. So it’s not true then?”

“The widow part, no. But I was pregnant, five months at the time.”

“So you went to Takodana, after the destruction of the Temple, got married and had children.” Leia smiled. “I am happy for you, dear. I can’t help feeling a little sad as well, for I had always hoped that you’d become my daughter-in-law someday.”

Sara smiled, not sure yet about telling her the truth or not.

“Master Luke took me to Maz Kanata, for I had nowhere to go. I bought a cottage in Takodana and when I turned 18, Maz gave me a job in the cantina.”

“So you met your husband at the Castle?”

Sara hesitated – more lies would take her nowhere. And Leia had the right to know that her granddaughter was running through the corridors of the Resistance base.

“Well, I  _re_ _-_ _encountered_  him there.” she said, expecting Leia to understand what she meant.

“What do you mean?  Did you know him already, from Chandrila perhaps? Or...” Leia stared at her, comprehension filling her face, her smile getting bigger on her face. “Wait. You’re saying that  _my_ _son_ was the one who put that ring on your finger?”

“Yes. He found me on Takodana, three years after the destruction of the Temple and...” she sighed. “I tried to stay away from him but...”

“The heart wants what the heart wants, dear. This is such great news!” Leia briefly hugged her. “Finally, one good decision my son made! But you know, talking about the heart’s desires, when I first met Han, all I wanted was to stay as far away from him as possible. I was a Princess, I couldn’t lower myself getting involved with a smuggler.” Leia shook her head. “Then, four years later, I was married and pregnant.” she suddenly remembered something: “Speaking of which,  _you_  were pregnant.”

“Yes. You may have seen a dark-haired little girl running around the base, generally after C3PO.”

“Yes, I have. That cute little thing is my granddaughter?”

“Yes.”

Leia hugged Sara again.

“Oh, my dear, in such turbulent times to receive a gift as beautiful as a granddaughter is a blessing.”

“He doesn’t know, General.”

Leia broke the embrace to look at her face.

“Call me Leia, Sara. And who doesn’t know what?”

“Ben. He doesn’t about Hope.”

“Hope. That’s an appropriate name.” Leia smiled. “You never had the chance to tell him?”

“No. And I don’t want anyone else to know. She’s my daughter, and I’m a widow.”

“I understand, and I’ll respect that. But does she know who her father is?”

“Some of it, yes.” Sara smiled. “She knows his name and that you’re her grandmother; she’s been watching you every day. She heard 3PO calling you a Princess and her fascination by you grew immensely.”

“Where is she now?”

“Running around the base, as usual. I had just finished giving her dinner when I was called to return to the infirmary.”

“Is she Force-sensitive?”

“Yes. I’ve already taught her to meditate. We do it every night. And although she's inherited some of Ben’s darkness, she’s able to control it. No problems so far.”

“Good. I wasn’t able to help Ben, but I know you’ll do great by Hope. When can I meet her?” 

“As soon as we find her. Let’s go for a walk?”

And they left the room going after a dark-haired, blue-eyed, little girl.

* * *

As they walked, Leia spoke:

“I am glad to know my son is still capable of love. Snoke doesn’t own him completely.”

“Ben’s conflict is natural, not moral, he was born with it, it’s part of him. He has always had equal potential for Light and Dark.” Sara paused. “But it’s been four years since I last saw him...and some days I hope that some of that love is still in him, that he hasn’t willingly given himself over to the Dark side, but when I hear of some of the things that the Knights of Ren have done... like Tekka’s death, all that hope vanishes.”

“Kylo Ren killed Tekka.” said Leia.

“What difference does it really make? Ben changed his name, but it was still his hand, his power that killed the man, and so many other innocents, because of pieces of a map to Master Luke. And when it’s not his hand, it’s his order. Kylo or Ben, it doesn’t matter how we call him – they are the same person.”

“It’s true. It's just that I hoped for so long that he could be turned. But my love wasn’t enough to keep him from Snoke.”

“Neither was mine.” Sara whispered.

They heard fast footsteps on the next corridor and then a little girl went crashing into Sara’s legs.

“Mommy!” the girl shouted, laughing. “I was looking for you! I am so tired. And definitely ready for my shower and bed.”

“I’m glad to hear that, honey. I won’t have to tell you a hundred stories to make you fall asleep tonight. But, before that, I’d like to properly introduce you to someone.”

Then Hope looked up to the woman beside her mother.

“Does she know who I am?” the girl whispered to Sara.

“Yes. I told her, and she wants to meet you.”

Leia kneeled down to be on the same height as the girl.

“Can I have a hug?” she asked, tears in her eyes as she looked at the girl’s long black curls, her smile — all so familiar. 

Hope threw herself into her grandmother’s arms.

“I’m so happy to finally meet you, grandma! 3PO said you’re a Princess! Is that true?”

“Yes, dear, Princess of Alderaan. But my planet was destroyed a long time ago.”

“Can I be a princess too?”

“Of course, sweetie.” Leia caressed the little girl’s hair. “I'll see if I can find you a tiara. I think I still have mine, from when I was your age.”

“General... Leia, you don’t have to.” Sara said, worried  about what kind of tiara Leia was talking about.

* * *

Less than an hour later, Leia walked into Sara’s private quarters with a black box in hand. Hope had just finished getting dressed after her bath, and was now sitting on the bed, her mother combing her hair.

“Grandma!” Hope exclaimed when Leia walked into the room.

“Hey, dear. I’ve brought you a gift.”

Sara looked at the box apprehensively.

Leia sat on the bed, in front of Hope and opened the lid of the box.

Sara couldn’t believe her eyes.

“Is that...?” she began.

“Yes.” Leia confirmed. “This, Hope, was the tiara I used to wear during important events in Alderaan. It is thought to have been lost, stolen from my vault many years ago. And it were. But I recovered it. Well, Han did, and most of the other Crown Jewels of Alderaan too.”

“Leia, we can’t....” Sara tried.

“It’s her heirloom. She’ll inherit it all, eventually. “

“But you’re not dead yet.” 

“But I could be tomorrow.” Leia picked up the delicate silver tiara, adorned with small glowing sein stones all around it.

“It’s so pretty, mommy.” Hope said in awe.

“Yes, but that’s not a toy, Hope.” Sara explained.

Leia placed it on top of her granddaughter’s head – the black of her hair making the sein stones stand out more. Hope ran to the mirror to look at her reflection.

“It’s yours.” Leia said to the little girl. “But your mom is right. That is not a toy, you won’t be able to wear it around the base.”

“But can I wear it in here?” Hope asked. “Just in the room.”

“Yes, sweetie.” Leia watched her beautiful granddaughter, dressed in pink pajamas and a silver tiara on her head.  “She’s amazing,” she whispered to Sara. “I can sense her powers too, they’re incredibly balanced; not in the least as raw as Ben’s.”

“I’ve been working daily with her since she was two years old.”

“You’re doing a great job, dear.” Leia took Sara’s hand. “Thank you.”

Sara smiled, looking at her daughter’s antics in front of the mirror.

“And he may never know.” Leia said, sadness filling up her voice.

“No. It would be too risky. I don’t know how far into the Dark side he has fallen in the last years.”

“And you’re right.” Leia agreed. “We must protect her.”

The two observed the little girl for a while until it was time to put her to bed. Then Leia told Hope a story of bravery about a girl that saved the entire Galaxy from evil by helping the Rebels of her time discover how to destroy the First Death Star.

Hope fell asleep with the tiara on her head. Sara took it off carefully and put it back into the black box, fearing for her daughter’s safety in the future. Somehow that tiara made her realize that Hope wasn’t just her little girl, she was Leia Organa and Han Solo's granddaughter, great-granddaughter of Darth Vader, Kylo Ren's daughter, and heir to the throne of Alderaan – had the planet not been destroyed. She lay down beside her daughter and tried to hold back the tears of fear that threatened to spill from her eyes, wishing they had never left Takodana.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. The Finalizer was a Resurgent-class Battlecruiser used as flagship and stormtrooper training academy by the First Order. (Canon) 
> 
> 2\. Lieutenant Connix, Commander Seastriker and Admiral Ackbar are all canon characters. 
> 
> 3\. The Crown Jewels of Alderaan were one of the last surviving treasures from the planet Alderaan. They were the royal property of the House of Organa and were kept safely guarded with Leia Organa after the first Death Star destroyed her homeworld during the Galactic Civil War. But, some three years after the Battle of Yavin, Leia used the jewels as collateral to finance a new squadron of T-65 X-wing starfighters. She removed and kept her jewels in a safety deposit box at the Bank of Aargau. Darth Vader hired the Assassin's Guild to take out Viscount Tardi to distract Leia's attention while the Sith Lord achieved his true objective of stealing the crown jewels. (Legends)


	10. Takodana

**Inside** **Sara’s** **private** **quarters**

It was late in the night, Sara and Hope were meditating before going to sleep. They had their legs crossed, arms resting on their thighs, eyes closed, and were both floating about ten centimetres above the floor.

“I can sense grandma... she’s still in the control room.” said Hope.

“Yes.”

“She is sad, mommy. She misses someone...”

“Yes, baby. She misses her husband and your dad. Specially your dad, she misses him a lot.”

“I miss him too.” Hope spoke so softly that Sara almost didn’t hear.

“So do I, dear.” Sara replied, feeling a big amount of unhappiness coming from her daughter; she had felt it before, but it seemed to be growing since Leia had started telling her stories about Ben.

They slowly sat back down and opened their eyes.

“Sometimes,” Hope continued, softly. “I feel... a power, similar to grandma’s but different, stronger. Is it dad? Can I sense him?”

Sara looked at her daughter, trying not to show concern.

“Have you been trying to look for him, Hope?” the girl didn’t reply, looking ashamed. “There’s nothing wrong if you have, dear. I think it’s natural that you want to get in touch with him. It’s just that...” she sighed, thinking of her next words: “Your father is around bad people right now, and I don’t want them finding out about you. They might want to use you because of who you are.”

“That’s because of grandma’s dad, isn’t it?”

“What do you know about him?” Sara wasn’t liking the way that conversation was going.

“3PO said he was evil.”

“Yes, he was.”

Sara noticed that Hope wanted to ask something else but decided not to. The little girl just stood up and walked to the box where her bedtime tiara was, putting it on her head before lying on the bed.

Sara followed her daughter and sat beside her on the bed, running her fingers through her black hair, just as the little girl liked.

“Mom,” Hope whispered after a while. “Is my dad evil?”

Sara closed her eyes, feeling a lump in her throat, not really knowing what to say.

“He has made some mistakes but... no, I don’t think he is evil, baby.”

Hope seemed to be satisfied with that answer, she turned on her side and fell asleep. 

Sara, on the other hand, stayed awake for another hour, worried about her daughter using the Force to look for Ben. 

 

* * *

 

Early next morning, as they were having breakfast, Sara and Hope felt a sudden awakening in the Force.

“What was that, mommy?” Hope asked her, surprised.

“That, dear, was someone getting in touch with the Force for the first time.”

“But they were scared.”

“Yes. Whoever that is, they didn’t know they were Force-sensitive and might have found out in an unpleasant way; that’s probably why they were scared.” Sara picked up her sandwich and continued eating, “Whatever that is, it's nothing for you to worry about. Let’s finish breakfast and I’ll go find your grandma to discuss it with her.”

 

* * *

 

 

After finding C3PO (and forbidding him from telling her daughter any stories about Darth Vader) Sara left Hope with him and went looking for Leia to discuss the awakening they had felt. But the base was already bursting with movement; near the corridor that led to the Command Room, she saw Poe Dameron – barely recovered from the torture session – running towards the X-wings parking area.

“Poe! What’s happening?” she asked.

“Maz’s Castle is under attack! And BB 8 is there!” he ran to his X-wing.

And Sara ran to the Control Room. 

“General. What's happening at Maz's?”

“Poe’s BB 8 unit is on Takodana with Han, Chewie, an ex-stormtrooper and a girl from Jakku.”

“An ex-stormtrooper?  _What_? We must help them!”

“We will. Poe is leading a squad to protect them from the First Order and we’ll send the Transport ship to bring them all here.”

“General.” suddenly the concerned voice of Taslin Brance came through the panel’s intercom. “They have blown up the Hosnian System.”

Leia and Sara stared at each other.

“What do you mean?” asked Leia. “The  _whole_  System?”

“Yes. Cardota, Courtsilius, Hosnian, Hosnian Prime and Raysho have completely disappeared. The Republic command — the entire — it's all — gone.” he sounded shocked and horrified.

Leia closed her eyes, Sara got closer to her and held her hand.

The sound of the X-wings taking off filled the quiet room.

“General.” Taslin’s voice returned to the intercom. “Some TIE-fighters have arrived on Takodana. And an Upisilon-class shuttle has just landed.”

“That’s...” Sara started.

“Ben’s ship.” finished Leia.

“We must go there right now, the X-wings alone won’t be able to fight the Knights and Ben.”

Leia just nodded and called someone trough the intercom: 

“Is the transport ship ready?”

“Yes, General.” someone answered.

And the two women ran to board it.

   


 

* * *

 

**On** **Takodana**

 

The Resistance transport ship entered the planet’s atmosphere and prepared to land. Sara was standing at a window, looking down at the battle field; the sight of the trees burning and the Castle being destroyed made her blood boil; that was the place that had accepted her when she had nowhere to go; as strange as it might sound, the cantina was like home for her. She tightened her grip on her lightsaber and turned it on. Everybody onboard fell silent. Leia just looked at her, she could feel the strength of Sara’s rage surging. 

The transport ship landed and, as soon as the doors were opened, Sara ran outside and killed every stormtrooper that crossed her path. She fell down on one knee after cutting one trooper in half, feeling sorry for all of them. She looked up and saw many others trying to run away from her, she stood up and reached out her hand, using the Force to immobilize them; then she walked to each one and finished them off. After, she looked around and saw Han and Chewbacca having a hard time defending themselves from the troopers.

She was ready to run towards them to help, when she saw a strange woman running into the woods. Sara stopped and decided to follow her – sensing that that woman had been the one responsible for the awakening she had felt earlier.

Sara turned her lightsaber off and walked into the woods, passing by the trees she knew so well, looking for the stranger; she found her in a clearing. The woman was looking around, terror in her eyes; she was scared of something and aiming her blaster towards every sound she heard.

Sara was planning on how to get close to her when Ben appeared.  _H_ _e must be looking for_ _her_ _. He might have felt the awakening_ _just_ _like I did._  She heard the blaster being fired repeatedly and saw his masked figure walking towards the strange woman, avoiding her shots with his red lightsaber. He used the Force to stop her from firing.

“The girl I’ve heard so much about.” Sara heard him say, in a deep, robotic voice. “The droid, where is it?”

Sara saw Ben nearly touch the lightsaber to the woman’s ear, and felt divided between interrupting and exposing her alliance to the Resistance or waiting a while longer – allowing him to hurt the woman.

Ben moved closer to look the stranger in the eyes and reached out his gloved hand to read her mind.

“The map. You’ve seen it.” 

“Sir.” called a stormtrooper. “Resistance fighters have arrived, we need more troops to look for the droid.”

“Forget the droid. We have what we need.” he made the woman fall asleep, and a stormtrooper carried her out of the woods.

Sara left her hiding place a second too early.

Ben turned around and saw her standing there in a Resistance uniform, her hand on her lightsaber’s hilt. Four years they hadn’t seen each other, and they were on the same planet where they had lived together, less than two miles away from the place they called home. Sara couldn’t stop her heart from beating madly in her chest, her inner light being immediately drawn to him as his darkness reached her.

 _Sara._ _You’ve decided to join the fight then._  he finally spoke in her head. 

 _You_ _’ve_ _forced me to make that decision._ she replied, trying to control her feelings.  _Stop this madness, Ben. Leave Master Luke alone_ _!_

_Supreme Leader Snoke wants him dead. He wants to end the Jedi._

_The Jedi will never end. And you know that_ _!_

_Yes._ _I_ _know. But I_ _do what I have to do_ _to survive_ _._ he sounded tired. 

Sara stared at him, confused.

 _You don’t want to do this anymore._ she suddenly realized. _You want out._

_There’s no way out._

_There's always a way into_ _the Light, Ben_ _. I’m here for you. Never forget that._ she said, trying to make him understand that not all was lost.

He nodded and turned around, walking into his ship, Silence; its door closing as soon as he entered.

Sara watched the ship take flight, Ben’s sadness still touching her heart. Once the Upisilon was out of sight, she walked back to the Resistance transport ship, her thoughts on him.

“Sara!” suddenly someone shouted.

She looked up and smiled, walking towards Han Solo, being received with a hug.

“So now you’re one of us?” he said, breaking the embrace.

“Yes. I couldn't keep on pretending that I didn't have to pick up a side anymore. So, I chose this side.” she replied.

“Fortunately for us, you did.” said Leia, walking out of her ship.

“I saw him, Leia. I saw Ben.” Han said, sounding sorrowful.

“Me too.” Sara said. “He kidnapped a woman in the woods.”

“He got Rey!!” they heard a man shout while running towards them. “He took her!!”

“We know, kid!” Han shout back. “We all saw it!”

“We must rescue her!” the man continued once he reached them, he was panting. Then he looked at Sara, noticing the lightsaber hilt on her waist. “And who are you?”

“Sara Antilles.”

“My ex-daughter-in-law and a Jedi lady, so show her some respect.” said Han. 

“We should go.” Leia said. “We need to send a message to every corner of the Galaxy about the Hosnian System.”

“Has anyone seen Maz?” Sara asked.

“Yes, she's safe, don't worry.” Han said. “But the Castle will have to be nearly all reconstructed.”

Sara gave a last look to the levelled Castle and walked into the ship.

   


 

* * *

  


The Millennium Falcon landed on D'Qar a few minutes after the transport ship.

Han walked out of his ship and saw Sara and Leia talking to a pretty little girl;  _Sara's daughter_ , he presumed, so he approached them, his eyes on the girl – she looked familiar, but not because she looked like Sara, no, it was something else.

“But who do we have here?” he asked, kneeling on the ground to look Hope in the eyes.

The girl immediately ran to hide behind her mother's legs.

“This is Hope, my daughter.” Sara said. “It's ok, dear.” she said to the little girl. “This is Han, Leia's husband.”

“This is my grandpa?” Hope asked.

Han looked at Sara, furrowing his eyebrows; then he smiled, suddenly understanding why the girl looked so familiar. 

“Of course, I'm your grandpa!” he was extremely happy. “Look at you! You look so much like your dad!”

Hope walked from behind her mother's legs and hugged him.

“It's so nice to meet you, grandpa! Mom says I remind her of dad too.”

“Yeah, you share the same smile.” he looked at her face. “Can’t believe my stupid son made such a pretty thing like you!”

“Han!” exclaimed Leia, disapprovingly.

“It’s fine, grandma. Mommy explained to me that dad has made some mistakes, and that those don’t make him evil, just stupid.”

Leia and Han looked from Hope to Sara, impressed with the little girl’s understanding of that situation.

“Oh!” Hope exclaimed, breaking the tension, as if she had suddenly remembered something: “Wait until I show you the beautiful tiara grandma gave me!” she said in a low voice. “But it's a secret you can't tell anyone that I have it.”

“What? You gave it to her? Already?” he asked Leia.

“It was only gathering dust inside that box; Hope takes excellent care of it.” Leia said, knowing he would make a scene about it. “She cleans it every night and wears it to sleep.”

“To sleep!? She wears a  _billion_   _credits_  tiara to sleep!” he whisper-shouted.

“It's very pretty, grandpa.” Hope didn't understand why he was so shocked by the news. “I'll let you wear it for a while if it’ll make you happy.”

Han laughed and let his newly discovered granddaughter pull him away into the building.

   


 

* * *

  


But the sweet taste of their victory on Takodana didn't last long. Less than twenty-four hours later the First Order had found their base in D'Qar and begun charging their weapon on the Starkiller base to hit the planet and obliterate the Resistance.

They gathered in the control room and the former stormtropper, Finn, gave them details about the base:

“In order to fire the weapon and sustain life in the planet,” he explained. “It uses a thermal oscillator, if we destroyed it, it would destabilize the planet's core and blow up the base.”

“How do we do it?” asked Taslin. “They have powerful shields all around the planet.”

“We first disable those shields.” Finn said.

“Can it be done from here?” Leia asked, already fearing the answer.

“No, I have to be on the base and do it before the weapon is fully charged.”

“I'll take you there, kid.” Han said. 

“Han, these crazy plans never work as we think.” Leia argued.

“But they work, somehow.” Han replied.

“When have they ever?” Leia said, complementing: “And don't say the Death Star.”

In the end, it was decided that Finn, Han, Chewie and Sara would go to the Starkiller base to disable their shields and make the attack on the thermal oscillator possible.

   


 

* * *

  


Getting into the planet was the easy part; once inside, they found and subjugated Captain Phasma. Finn ordered her to disable the shields, and she did, but that made alarms sound off and they had to be more careful than before. 

“What do I do with her?” Sara asked, her white lightsaber on Phasma's throat.

“Is there a garbage disposal?” Han asked.

Finn showed them the way and they threw Phasma into the garbage disposal.

“Now, we find Rey, and leave as fast as possible.” Finn said.

Fortunately they didn't have to look for long, two corridors down they saw the woman, Rey, climbing a wall on the other side of the building, so they went towards her.

   


 

* * *

  


With the shields down, the attack on the oscillator began. But TIE-fighters appeared too soon, stopping the X-wings from completely destroying the oscillator.

The five of them, still inside the base, decided to change the plans and blow the oscillator themselves. Rey and Finn went out to get some detonators from the Falcon. Han, Chewie and Sara hid close to the oscillator.

Sara sensed when Ben entered the large room. He walked past her hiding spot, unable to sense her presence. But she decided to show herself.

“Ben.”

He turned around to face her.

“What are you doing here?” he walked close to her. “Why did you join the Resistance?” he said in that robotic voice the mask gave him. “Don’t you realize how dangerous..”

“I had to.” she interrupted. “Maybe one day you'll understand.” she felt uncomfortable talking to him in that mask. “Take that off, please. You don't have to use it with me.”

He hesitated but raised his hands to remove it.

Sara felt her heart skip a beat once his face was uncovered. The same long hair, pale skin and dark eyes she had always loved – only he had a haunted look in his eyes, one that she had never seen before. She searched deep into his mind and found out what was haunting him.

“You can't do it.” she said, feeling scared for him. “There’ll be no turning back if you do what Snoke has ordered you to do.”

“I know! But what choice do I have?”

“You have made nothing but wrong decisions so far. Ben. Don't make this one!”

He turned his back on her, put the mask on and walked to a long metal bridge without another word.

Han walked after him.

“Ben!” he shouted.

Sara had to stop herself from running after them. It wasn't her place to warn him, the destiny of Han Solo and the entire war lay on Ben's hands.

And that wasn't a comforting realization.

   


 

* * *

  


Sara saw when Ben removed the mask for his father, she saw Han touch his son's face, while they both held the red lightsaber's hilt. Suddenly she heard Ben whisper into her mind:  _Will you help me?_

 _Yes._  she replied.

_You must attack me after I incapacitate him._

_Ok._

Ben closed his eyes and turned the lightsaber on, hitting Han somewhere she couldn't see, wounding but not killing him.

"No!" Sara heard Rey and Finn shout from somewhere above. Chewie growled as well. But she was too busy running to the bridge, her own white lightsaber in hand, ignited. She jumped over Han's body going straight to attack Ben. They clashed, white and red lights colliding ferociously. It was a controlled fight but they had to make it look real, there were stormtroopers around. She slashed his right sleeve, hurting his arm. He tried to hit her on the side, but missed.

Chewbacca gathered Han's body into his arms and ran outside.

"Sara!" Finn called her. "We have to leave! The bombs!"

"Go! Get Han to the base!" she shouted as both laserswords hummed against each other.

 _If you stay, I'll have to make you my prisoner._  Ben spoke in her mind.

"I know." she said out loud – trying to stop her thoughts from traveling to a dangerous zone after his words.

Sara deflected another one of his blows and attacked him, lightsabers in touch again, being pushed against one another.

The reddish light reflected in their eyes as they stared at each other intensely.

 _You better_ _defeat_ _me now. We have to leave before the bombs explode._ she said in his mind.

_So you better let me._

She smiled, even after Snoke's training, he didn’t feel he could beat her. She pretended to lose her strength, falling onto the floor on her knees and weakly pushing Ben away with the Force. He gave two steps back and she got up, trying to run. He made her stop, immobilizing her with the Force.

 _I'll have to knock you out._ he said.

_Do it. I'll_ _let you._

He did and held her before she hit the floor, unconscious.

Then he called his Upisilon crew to pick them up. He wouldn't let Sara get anywhere near Snoke. He would put off that moment for as long as possible.

  


   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an important point in this fanfic. I considered, at first, going full canon and let Ben kill his father, but, after two days of writing this nonstop, a happy ending began to show itself as possible. However, for it to happen, Ben could not kill Han – for I don't think he would really deserve a happy ending after committing patricide. 
> 
> Four more chapters to go! 


	11. Prisoner

Sara woke up on a bed. Ben’s bed by the scent coming off of it. She stretched and sat up. The room was dimly lit, making it look more comfortable than it actually was, the bed was in the middle of the space, a door to the left of the bed and a windowless wall to the right. Two bedside tables, one on each side of the bed. It looked plain, like any other room in a spaceship, so the lighting helped. She stared at Ben, who was sitting on a chair by the bed analysing the hilt of her lightsaber.

“So do you have the habit of taking female prisoners into you bed?” she tried to conceal the jealousy from her voice, unsuccessfully.

He smiled and looked up at her. 

“No. You’re the first.” he put her lightsaber onto the bedside table, beside his own.

They stared at each other in awkward silence.

“How...” he tried to start a conversation. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been alright. Life went on as usual after you left. I was still working at the Castle until two months ago, when I decided to join the Resistance.”

“Why did you join it?” he sounded curious.

“For reasons that I don’t want to share with you right now.”

Then silence, again.

His eyes fell on the engagement ring still on her finger.

“Why do you still wear it?” he asked.

Sara took that hard. 

“Shouldn’t I? Or is that your subtle way of asking for a divorce?”

“No! Of course not. But I was... I abandoned you. I made you suffer — more than once. I thought you’d hate me by now.” he ran his hand through his hair, a sign of nervousness. “It really surprised me when you offered your help.”

“If you want out of the First Order, we'll find a way, together; I’ll help you get away from Snoke. But I have conditions.”

“What conditions?”

“You’ll be honest with me.”

“I’ve never lied to you.” he furrowed his brows.

“But you hid things, Ben. So if you want me to help you, and to give us a chance, you’ll have to tell me everything.”

“Ok. Agreed. But I want the same from you. You’ll tell me why you joined the Resistance.”

And Sara’s words had turned against her.

“Fine.” she agreed, uncertain of how to tell him about Hope. “My first question, and I want an honest answer: did you consider killing Han? For real?”

“I didn’t want to do it! But until I saw you there, I thought that was my only option. I would have regretted it forever. “

“Snoke is testing you. He sees your conflict and he doesn’t like it.”

“Exactly. He thought that killing my father would make me fall into the Dark side for good.”

“He doesn’t understand shit about dark side or light side. Or about you. You were born with both, they are natural parts of you – the Light will never leave you. The darker you try to be, the stronger that Light will try to become, to balance your inner essence. And you’ll only feel more out of control.” she held his hand. “I’ve always told you: we all have both inside of us, our choices and actions are what make us who we are. Even your grandfather had some light in him at the end.”

“Yeah, I remember Luke’s stories.” he held her left hand between his own, looking at the ring he had put on her finger. “Is there... could there still be an us someday?”

“For a long time I thought that was impossible; when you left me to go to Rakata Prime, in 27 ABY, I felt extremely betrayed by you.” she took her hand from his and looked at the ring. “But I never mustered up the courage to take this off. I felt that as long as I still had it on my finger, I could keep on hoping that one day you’d see the enormous stupidity you had done and you’d return to our blue cottage.”

“And I did. Three years later.”

“You went there to stay?” 

“That was my biggest desire.” he nodded, "But byv then I had discovered that there is no way out of the First Order. If I became a deserter, they would hunt me down. Snoke would kill me, the Kights of Ren, you, and all would’ve been for nothing.”

“So you went there to say goodbye.”

“Yes. I decided that if I had to work for Snoke, I would do that without dragging you down with me.”

They just looked at each other in silence for a while.

“What do you think he’ll tell you to do to me?” Sara asked, worried.

“Once he sees this.” Ben picked up her lightsaber again. “The white colour of it. He’ll have you executed in the next second.”

“So we must kill him first.”

Ben put her lightsaber back on the bedside table and looked at her, worried about the success rate of that plan.

“Even if we kill him, Sara, he has eight highly trained Praetorian Guards.”

“We can take them down. But let’s cross that bridge when we come to it, okay? Let’s focus on solving one problem at the time.” she got up from the bed. “Right now, my problem is that I need a shower. Do you have a decent one here?”

“Yes. Over there.” he pointed to the door of his bathroom.

“I’ll need some clean clothes and a towel as well.” she said, walking to the door he had indicated.

“I’ll see what I can find.”

And she entered the bathroom.

* * *

Ben heard when she turned on the shower; and memories of shared showers filled his head. He picked up boxer briefs that were tight on him, a towel, and a black t-shirt – it would look like a dress on her but it was all he could find.

He knocked on the bathroom door and said:

“I brought you what you asked for.”

“Come in, leave it on the sink.” he heard her voice from the other side of the door.

He walked into the bathroom, his eyes going straight to her naked form, she had her back to him, so he could admire her for a while; she had her arms up, washing her hair, her long wet hair that got almost to her ass. That ass. How many times had he caressed that ass. He looked at her thighs... remembering them spread out, allowing him to be between them and penetrate her; the memory of those same thighs wet with his come popped into his mind and he groaned.

“Ben. Are you ok?” she asked, looking at him.

“Yes. I’ll just leave...” he sounded off.

He put the towel, the shirt and the boxer briefs on the sink and left, closing the door on his way out.

Sara could very well guess what he had been thinking – and she missed him just as much, but it was still too soon to reopen those wounds. She hadn’t told him about Hope yet; she feared that his desire for her might cease after he learned she hid their daughter from him.

She turned off the shower and picked up the towel (black), dressing up after she had dried her body. The boxer briefs (also black) were comfortable and the t-shirt (black, as well) looked like a loose dress.

“What is it about you and black clothes?” she joked as she was walking out of the bathroom, drying her hair on the towel. “Is it mandatory that you throw all colourful clothes away once you join the Dark side?”

“Something like that, yes.” he smiled, sitting on a chair, removing his boots and socks. “You look great.”

“No lying, Ben. Remember?”

“I’m not. I’ve always liked seeing you dressed in my shirts.”

Sara stopped drying her hair and hang the wet towel on the back of the chair he was sitting.

“Well, I think now it’s my turn to be honest with you.” she said, suddenly serious, walking to the bed and sitting there.

Ben sat by her side, waiting for her to continue.

“The last time you were home, in 30 ABY,” she began. “You left something behind.” 

“Really? I haven’t noticed anything missing.” 

“It wasn’t a  _thing_ , exactly. It was...” she sighed, nervously looking away. “I really don’t know how to tell you this...”

“What was it?” he was getting anxious.

“I got pregnant, Ben, that night.” she softly said, looking into his eyes. “The night we dueled, destroyed the sofa and fucked like crazy. We made a baby that night.”

He was stunned – not even in his dreams he could have imagined that.

“We have a child? “ he whispered.

“Yes. A little 3-year-old named Hope.” she smiled, remembering her baby girl.

“A girl? A little girl?”

“Yes.”

He stared at Sara, incredulity all over his face. She bit her bottom lip, feeling apprehensive, trying to understand if he had liked that information or not.

Suddenly he got up, walked to the nearest wall, and punched it, repeatedly, until his knuckles on both hands were bleeding.

Sara let him take his frustration on the wall, patiently waiting for his anger to subside.

Once he stopped and rested his forehead against the broken wall – his shoulders shaking as tears fell from his eyes – she walked to him, pulling him towards her in a tight hug, both still silent. After a while, she looked up into his eyes and held his hands, healing him with her powers.

Ben pulled her against his body and spoke, sounding desperate:

“I’m sorry. I am so sorry I abandoned you.” he held her head between his hands, touching their foreheads together. “There hasn’t been a day where I haven’t missed our house, your scent, your cooking, you presence – everything about you.” then he kissed her, adoringly, like a thirsty man drinking fresh water for the first time in a long while.

Sara let him, the well-known sensation of their powers mingling making her light-headed. She ran her fingers through his hair, touching his shoulders and chest next, going down to the rim of his pants, pulling his shirt out of them. He helped her take it off of his body. And Sara touched his bare chest, and had her mouth taken again in a ravishing kiss, his hands on her hips and thighs, pulling her against his hard body.

Ben backed her against the wall he had just partially destroyed and removed the black shirt she was wearing, leaving only the black boxer briefs covering her body, he kissed and touched her like he owned her body, leaving marks of fingers and teeth on her skin.

Sara pushed him away, turning them over, his back hitting the wall this time. And she kissed and bit his broad chest, trailing kisses down his belly button, getting on her knees, her hands working on opening his fly. She stared up at him, and pulled his pants down and off his feet. His black boxer briefs barely concealed his erection; she bit his cock through the fabric, making him moan, before sliding the boxers down his legs. She didn’t wait to put him into her mouth. Ben gasped and groaned, one hand on her head, controlling her, like she knew he loved to. She took his member out of her mouth and licked it from root to tip, staring up into his eyes as her lips closed around its head again, making his hips jerk and the taste of his precum hit her tongue. Sara hallowed her cheeks, sucking him deeper into her mouth, her tongue circling his length; she sped up her moves, adding a hint of teeth and he tightened his grip on her hair.

“Stop.” his voice deep with desire.

Sara stood up and Ben was on her in seconds, taking her into his arms, his tongue invading her mouth with furious passion and need. He hauled her up, and carried her to bed, dropping her there, his body covering hers. His hands found her breasts and his mouth followed. He touched, licked and bit her nipples, making her moan loudly. He removed the boxer briefs he had lent her and she was naked under him.

He didn’t wait any longer, putting his length over her dripping entrance he slid it up and down, teasing her, feeling how wet she was, how needy of him. Sara spread her legs further apart.

“Fuck me, Ben.” she pleaded.

And he did; penetrating her fully in one hard, long thrust.

She arched her back, gasping, making him get in even deeper. His mouth went back to torturing her breasts, and she was totally lost in his arms, under his strong body. Every thrust of his hips took her closer to her climax and he could feel it; the pressure of her slick channel on his member, the look of pure pleasure on her face, the gasps and moans that left her lips every time he pushed deep into her were all driving him mad with desire, he wanted to make her scream and fill her up with his come. But he also wanted it to last, so he rolled them over, putting her on top, making her sit on him. But Sara’s hair sticking to her sweaty skin, the look of desire in her face, the way she stared into his eyes, biting her bottom lip as she rotated her hips in a circle, closing her eyes relishing the feeling of his hard length deep inside of her, none of that helped him delay his own climax. Ben thrust upwards and she began riding him, his hands on her hips, helping her up and down on his member. Sara arched her back, throwing her head backwards and moaned loudly in pleasure as her climax took over her body.

The image of that delicious woman lost in pleasure on top of him, breasts bouncing, lips parted, moaning unstoppably, was finally too much for him, he pulled her down onto his chest, taking her lips furiously and speeding up his thrusts until he felt her clenching around his length again and her whole body trembled while she moaned as loud as before.

“That’s it.” he growled. “Come for me.” and he thrust upwards twice more, feeling his own climax take over him, spilling jets of hot come into her.

Sara lay down on top of him, feeling his softening erection slip out of her. They were both breathing laboriously and covered in sweat. She touched her nose to his and they kissed, slowly, tongues touching lazily.

“I love you.” he said, looking into her blue eyes.

“I love you too.”

But sudden knocks on the door pulled them back to reality, making them remember that they weren’t on their bed, in their cottage, on Takodana, but in a First Order Upilison-class shuttle parked inside the Finalizer.

Ben stood up and walked, naked, to the door, opening it and saying:

“Yes, General?”

The ginger man gave two steps back, horrified and enraged by Ben’s strong naked figure.

“What is...?” Hux began, glancing into the room and seeing the naked woman on the bed. “It’s true, then, we are all allowed to take prisoners to our beds now.”

“It’s one of the privileges of being me.” Ben was feeling too good to be furious at the other man at that moment.

“We’ll see how far that privilege of yours goes." Hux was furious. "The Supreme Leader wants to see you. Now.” then he smiled evilly, “Perhaps, while you’re out there, I can make company to your guest.”

“Nah. You wouldn’t be able to handle her.” Ben replied, mocking the other man, and closed the door on his face.

“Next time answer your compad, I am not your personal message boy!” Hux shouted.

Ben smiled, looking at Sara that sat in the middle of the messy bed, laughing.

“He truly hates me.” he said to her.

“I can’t imagine why.” she said, smiling.

He looked at her, his smile being replaced by a serious, regretful, expression.

“I am really sorry I left you. I should have listened to you.”

“It’s ok, now.” she stared at her hands. “I suffered like hell for a long time, but after I found out I was pregnant, I felt so happy, and when Hope arrived... Maz helped me a lot, but being a single mom is not easy... anyway, I didn’t really have much time to think of how sad I was that you had left me.”

“Does she know about me?” he asked, worried.

“Yes. Hope knows your name and that we had a fight and you left before learning about her. I also told her how we met, and your mother told her some of your childhood stories. She tries to find you every night while we meditate.”

“So she is Force-sensitive?”

“Yes. That’s the main reason why I never looked for you to tell about her. I feared you would tell  Snoke and he would do something to harm her.” she looked at Ben, who was getting dressed to go see Snoke in the hologram room. “What will you tell him tonight?”

“That you stopped me from killing Han Solo and I took you for my personal pleasure.”

“Both true.” she smiled.

“He may already know about your lightsaber's color. And he’ll want to see you.” he sounded apprehensive. “Let’s see what he wants from me tonight and what he’ll tell me to do about you. I’ll delay the moment you meet him for as long as I can.”

He kissed her and grabbed his mask, already fully dressed.

“You know,” she said, eyeing him wantonly, “One day you’ll have to fuck me with those clothes on. Mask and all.”

Ben laughed and left the room, locking it so that no one could hurt the woman in his bed.

* * *

“Supreme Leader.” Ben greeted as he kneeled down in front of the huge projection.

“Ah, Kylo Ren, some interesting rumour has reached me." began Snoke. "Words saying that you have claimed a prisoner for yourself. That a resistance female would be, at this moment, inside your rooms. A female Jedi, and not just a simple one, but one with a white lightsaber.”

“It’s true, Supreme Leader. She stopped me from killing Han Solo, I had struck him down but she stopped me from delivering a final blow. I defeated her before the bombs exploded and decided to take her for my own pleasure.”

“Nice. But it worries me to learn that a white-sabered Jedi is so close to you.”

“I am only using her for...”

“I know. I understood. You may continue your activities, for now. Once she becomes a liability I’ll let you know what you must do to her.”

“Thank you, Supreme Leader.”

And the projection vanished.

Ben stood up, feeling a small relief – he had bought them some time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 12 may take a few days to be ready. I am having trouble liking it as it is right now. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading this! 


	12. Friends, Destruction & Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter begins The Last Jedi. Whatever you recognize is not mine.

Once the elevator’s doors closed, Ben allowed himself to release the breath he didn’t know he had been holding. The meeting with Snoke had gone better than he had imagined – although he still wanted to meet Sara, it didn’t have to be right away. The doors opened and he walked through the hangar bay towards the Silence. As soon as he entered his ship he heard the Knights laughing. He removed his mask and walked to his private quarters, he didn’t have the energy to talk to them that night, he was tired and couldn’t wait to tell Sara how the meeting had gone. But Jon, one of his fellow Knights of Ren, was by his door, waiting for him.

“It’s her, right?” Jon asked in a low voice.  
“What are you talking about?” asked Ben.  
“The woman the troopers are saying is here, in your rooms, the one that stopped you from killing Han Solo. She’s Sara, the bartender from Takodana, isn’t she?”  
“And if she is, do you have any objection?” Ben looked at Jon with suspicion.  
“No! Quite the opposite really.” he got closer to Ben. “Is she here to help us out of this mess?”  
Ben seemed to relax.  
“Yes.” he replied. “Do the others feel the same?”  
“Yes. We don’t want to work for Snoke anymore. We’re Dark Force users, not Sith. The things he has asked from us are wrong.” then he smiled, softly. “We are all glad Sara is here, she was always nice to us in the cantina and she seems to be very smart...” he paused and stared at Ben before asking: “You married her, didn’t you?”  
“Yes. And I know about all the flirting you have thrown her way in Takodana.”  
“Nah. It was all in good fun. I remember her wearing a ring, a red one. You’re a lucky man, Commander.”  
“I know.” Ben smiled proudly and waited until Jon had left the corridor before walking into his room.

* * *

 

 **A week later**  
Living like Ben’s prisoner was not bad, albeit solitary, Sara had to admit. They had a fixed routine: Ben left their room in the morning and occasionally dropped by during the day to check on her; a droid was in charge of delivering her meals, and, to pass the time, she had asked Ben for some reading material, which he provided – so she spent her days reading. At night they trained, meditated and, sometimes, made love. She missed Hope though.  
“I know she is being taken good care of. Your parents are there with her, and 3PO is basically her personal nanny.” she chuckled at Ben’s confused expression at that information. “Hard to imagine, I know, but she adores that weird annoying droid. Can you find a way for me to talk to her?”  
“I’ll think of something,” he said.

* * *

 

And so he did. Two nights later he got her an intercom device.  
“It’s a new one. Never used and unregistered.”  
Sara sat on the bed and quickly tapped all the Resistance codes necessary to connect with their base, then she waited in silence, the ringing tone making her nervous. Ben sat by her side. Then the click that indicated the connection was complete was heard.  
“General.” she called.  
“Sara?” it was Leia’s incredulous voice. “My dear, we thought we had lost you!”  
“No, I was taken prisoner, but I can’t complain about my accommodations. Let me turn on the video in this thing.” and after a few tappings and beeping sounds, Leia’s image appeared in a projection above the device, and their image appeared to her.  
Leia covered her mouth with her hand once she saw her son, shirtless, beside Sara.  
“What? You’re his prisoner?”  
“Hello, mother.” Ben answered.  
“I am so happy to see you, Ben! And with Sara! I haven’t told Hope that you went missing, dear. I told her you’ve been working for us in a secret mission.” Leia sighed in relief, then she looked at Ben. “You’re so handsome, my son. I miss you terribly.”  
“I have a lot of forgivenesses to ask for, mother.” he said, embarrassed.  
“We’ll talk about it someday.” Leia said. “All you need to know for now is that I love you, always have and always will.” she paused, looking at them, relief in her face. “But you two? Tell me, are you really back together?”  
“Yes, Leia.” confirmed Sara.  
“This is great news!” Leia smiled just looking at them; but her smile faded as if she had remembered something: “Ben, I believe you had orders to kill your father.”  
“Yes. But I couldn’t. Sara helped me find an alternative, but I had to hurt him... How is he?”  
“Recovering. He’ll have a scar from his left thigh up to his ribs, but he’ll survive to annoy us all again.” she looked at them, feeling so relieved to not only see Sara alive, but Ben by her side.  
“General, there’s a little Princess we’d like to see.” Sara said.  
“Oh, of course! So you already know about her, my son?” Leia asked.  
“Yes.” Ben replied, feeling a bit nervous.  
“She’s amazing, Ben. So smart and gifted. I’ll go to her room, I sent her to get ready for bed half an hour ago.”  
Leia turned the projection off for a while and they heard her walking through the base, then there was the sound of a door being opened and her voice speaking to someone: “There’s a special call for you, sweetie.” and the projection was turned on again.  
“Mommy!!” the beautiful little girl appeared, wearing lilac pyjamas and a tiara on her head. “Where are you? And who’s that?” she pointed to Ben.  
“This is your father, honey.”  
“You found him!!” Hope shouted happily.  
“Yes. And I’ll take him to you as soon as possible.” Sara said, trying not to cry as she looked at her daughter.  
“Yay!!! Hi, daddy!”  
“Hi, princess.” he looked at her, seeing himself and Sara in her sweet face. “You look so much like...”  
“You!” Hope exclaimed. “Mom always says that.”  
He stared at her, drinking from her image, as if his eyes could be tricking him and she might disappear at any minute.  
“Daddy, will you teach me how to use a sword? Mom won’t show me how to sword fight... and I need to learn for when I have my own lightsaber!”  
Ben looked at Sara, who had tears in her eyes and a smile on her lips. She nodded to him.  
“Yes, sweetie, of course I will teach you.” he answered, looking more attentively at the girl’s tiara. “Mother!” he called. “What is that on her head?”  
“This is my bedtime tiara.” Hope answered. “And I know it’s not a toy. I only wear it to bed.”  
Ben looked at Sara, astonished at that information.  
_That’s one of Alderaan’s Crown Jewels. It’s worth more than a billion credits!_ he spoke into her mind.  
_I know. But to her it is her bedtime tiara._ Sara replied silently.  
“Daddy, I’ve missed you so much. I have so many things to tell you! I’ve learnt a lot from 3PO! Did you know that the sun in a ball made of fire? And that it disappears at night because the planet spins?”  
“That’s impressive, honey.” he replied, still not believing how much like him she looked.  
“Ok. It’s past bedtime already.” Sara said, noticing Ben was impressed by seeing their daughter. “We’ll hang up now. Good night, baby. I love you.”  
“Love you too, mommy. And I miss you.”  
“We’ll soon be together.” Sara replied.  
“Daddy’s coming home with us?” Hope asked.  
“Yes, I’ll go home with you.” Ben answered, hoping that he wasn’t lying to her.  
“Good night, son.” Said Leia. “And thank you, Sara.”  
They hung up and Ben held the intercom between his hands.  
“She’s so beautiful.” he said after a while.  
“Yes. And smart. Some days I look at her and can’t believe we made her.”  
He put the device into the bedside table drawer and lay down on the bed, pulling Sara to his chest.  
“I still think this is a dream.” he said softly.  
“It may look like one now, but we have a nightmarish fight ahead of us.”  
“Yes. One we must win.” he felt suddenly confident, “I have sword lessons to plan now.” he smiled, thinking about Hope and all the other children that he wanted to have with Sara. After a while, he whispered: “I can’t believe Hope sleeps with one of Alderaan’s most precious jewels on her head and calls it her ‘ _bedtime tiara_ '.”  
Sara chuckled. And they fell asleep with thoughts of their beautiful daughter and their future in their minds.

* * *

 

  
**Three days later**  
It was the middle of the day when Ben walked into their room in a hurry, looking very preoccupied, mask in hand.  
“They’re preparing an attack on the Base in D'Qar.” he announced.  
“What?”asked Sara closing the book she had been reading and jumping from the bed. “We have to warn them!” she opened the drawer to get the intercom device.  
“No need to. Hux has the dreadnought ready to fire. But I heard the Resistance has began an evacuation and many ships have already left the planet, including Raddus.”  
“The command ship – your mother’s ship.”  
“Yes. So my parents and Hope are safe. For now. Poe Dameron is leading an attack on the Fulminatrix with a bomb squad as we speak.”  
“Good. That’ll give them time to jump to lightspeed and be safe.”  
“Not really.” Ben said, apprehensively.  
“What do you mean?”  
“The Supremacy can track them through lightspeed.” he sat on the bed.  
“Oh, no...”  
“There’s more.” he continued. “The Resistance didn’t have enough time to gather supplies before the evacuation, and they’re running low on fuel already.”  
“And even if they jump into hyperspace, the Supremacy will track them...” said Sara, comprehending the severity of that situation. “What will we do now?”  
“Snoke has ordered that we all regroup in the Supremacy to follow the Resistance and destroy them. We have already left the Finalizer and parked inside the Supremacy hangar bay.” he paused, and Sara knew what was coming next: “Also, Snoke wants to meet you. As soon as possible.”  
“Then we’ll have our chance to take him down.”  
“Yes. But remember: we must be subtle, any kind of direct attack, and his red guards will have us immobilized before we ever get ten feet near Snoke.”  
“Ok. So we have no plan. Let’s go face him and see what happens.”  
“Exactly. Now,” he stood up from the bed. “I need you to put your Resistance uniform back on, and I’ll have to restrain you with these, “ he showed her a pair of strong, thick metal cuffs. “Then, I’ll take you to my private quarters in the Supremacy, and I’ll find out what is the Resistance situation.” Sara finished getting dressed into her uniform and stopped in front of him, turning around so he could handcuff her. “One more thing: Jon knows about you, he recognized you from Takodana and concluded that we are married. So if anything goes wrong, find him. The Knights will follow and protect you.” she turned around to face him, and he kissed her lovingly. “Remember to play the prisoner part until we get to my rooms.”  
“Yes. I know.”  
Ben put his mask back on, and forcefully dragged Sara out of the Upisilon, into the Supremacy hangar bay. The nine Knights of Ren following him.  
Sara walked with her head down, hands cuffed behind her back. She took a quick look around, seeing white and black Stormtroopers walking everywhere; there was even a silver one – who seemed to be in charge of the others.  
_Something is not right_. Ben said into Sara’s head. _There’s never this much activity here, unless...._  
_Unless... what?_  
_They’ll attack the Resistance fleet._  
_Oh, no._  
Ben hurried to his private quarters, leaving Sara locked up there and went straight to the Supremacy Command Room to learn about the attack.  
“Their hangar has been destroyed.” he heard one admiral reporting to Hux as soon as he had walked into the room.  
“Now, destroy their bridge!” the red-haired said. “Kill their precious Princess, and all of their leaders!”  
Ben reached out through the Force and felt his mother’s presence on the Raddus’ bridge. But there was a familiar Force near her. _Hope_ , – he suddenly realized and panic started to rise inside of him. _I’ll never get to hug my daughter if they destroy that ship._ But before he could have tried anything to stop the attack, his thoughts were interrupted by the light of the explosion of the Raddus' bridge – people and debris were scattered through the vacuum. He thanked all gods for having the mask on, so no one could see the devastated look on his face. He closed his eyes, feeling the tears fall down.  
_Oh, dear baby Hope, this is all my fault. I’ll never get to teach you how to sword-fight..._  
“What is that?” suddenly Hux's astonished voice broke into Ben’s sorrowful mind. So he opened his eyes and approached the window to see what had the red-haired man so shocked, then he saw: two people seemed to be flying in the vacuum – a woman and a child were moving back towards the Raddus' destroyed bridge.  
“That’s Leia Organa and... a _child_.” said one of the admirals, as shocked as every one else in the room.  
“Leia is the daughter of Darth Vader, therefore it’s not hard to believe she is capable of such use of the Force but that kid... How can a _child_ do that?” asked Hux.  
Ben smiled under the mask and thought proudly: _That’s my daughter_.  
No one said another word, everybody just watched the girl and the woman disappear into the partially destroyed ship.  
“Should we continue the attack?” a woman asked.  
“Yes.” said Hux. “Their medical fleet now. They may have survived that attack but let’s see how well they’ll recover without medical attention.”

* * *

 

Sara wanted to call Leia that same night but it would be impossible for the General to answer the intercom if she were in a bacta tank. Also she could sense her daughter’s inner Force still pulsing strongly and that eased her worries.  
Snoke seemed to have forgotten about Sara, at least momentarily. Maybe the great victory over the Resistance had satisfied him enough to decide he didn’t have to meet her soon.

* * *

 

Sara called Poe Dameron the following night, after Ben had told her that two Resistance members and a BB 8 unit had been captured by Phasma while trying to disable the tracking system.  
“Poe. This is Sara.”  
“What? How are you still alive?” he replied, astonished.  
“I am Kylo’s prisoner. Look, I don’t have much time. How’s my daughter and General Organa?”  
“They are in bacta tanks, but both will be fine. Your girl will probably be out of the tank tonight.”  
“Call me when that happens. Please.”  
“Yes. Of course.”  
“Who’s in charge now?”  
“Holdo.”  
“She’s fierce. Great choice.”  
“Yes.” he said, disapproval heavy in his voice. “But the First Order is tracking us through lightspeed. And we only have enough fuel for one more jump. We have people inside the Supremacy trying to disable that system.”  
“I know, that’s why I’m calling you: they have been captured!”  
“What? Oh, no.”  
“What’s Holdo’ s plan?”  
“She was preparing the scape pods to send us all to Crait.”  
“Crait. There’s an old Rebel base there. It could work. You can refuel and send a distress signal to the allies.”  
“A base? I didn’t know that.” he sounded uneasy.  
“What have you done, Poe?”  
“Nothing much, just a mutiny... Holdo and her command staff are locked up since this afternoon.” he realized he had made an unnecessary mess.  
Suddenly Sara heard a loud blast from Poe’s side of the call and Leia's voice:  
“You better leave this room and release Holdo and her staff right now.” she pointed to the intercom. “Is that Sara?”  
“Yes.” Poe answered, giving the device to her.  
“Hi, dear.” Leia picked up the intercom pad. “How are things on your side?”  
“Getting close to defeat the big boss.”  
“You’ll fight Snoke.” Leia said, understanding.  
“We’ll try.”  
“Good luck. May the Force be with you.” and she hung up.  
Sara sat on the bed, the intercom still in her left hand. Leia and Hope were safe, for the moment, and that made their situation better than her own. Every day she waited for Ben to walk into the room and take her to meet Snoke. And then they’d have to fight for their lives. Literally. The sound of the door of the bathroom being opened brought her back to reality and Sara watched as Ben walked out, only a towel covering his naked, wet, body. His shoulder-length hair already dry. He noticed her staring at him.  
“See something you like?” he asked jokingly.  
“Yes. A lot of things.” she smiled and got up to put the intercom in its usual drawer. Then she walked towards him, dressed in one of his black t-shirts, and Ben embraced her by the waist, bringing her closer to him. Her arms crossed behind his neck and they stared into each other’s eyes. They both knew that could be their last night together and alive. After a while, he touched his mouth to hers, his tongue sweeping over her lips, teeth nibbling on her bottom one. Sara sighed and opened her mouth, her tongue meeting his in a slow, deep kiss. His hands went down to grab her butt, while she touched his naked chest and moved her hips against the hard member she could feel poking her belly. They broke the kiss so he could take the t-shirt off of her body, leaving her dressed only in black boxer briefs. He took a step back to stare at her body, the curvaceous body he loved to pleasure, then he looked at her face, flushed with desire, her long curly hair cascading down her shoulders, over her naked breasts.  
“See something you like?” she returned his question, with a smile.  
He put his hands on both sides of her hips and pulled her to him, feeling her soft breasts against his hard chest; he took her lips again, passionately, Sara’s hands ran through his hair, down his chest, and to the rim of the towel, opening it, letting it fall to the floor, leaving him fully naked. Ben made her walk backwards until her legs hit the bed and she fell on the soft matress, his strong hands quickly removing the boxer briefs from her body. He spread her legs apart and kissed her inner thighs as his fingers played on her slick entrance. Sara gasped when one long finger penetrated her. He caressed her slick channel, touching her g-spot, making her moan.  
He put two fingers into her, opening her for his assault, then he lowered his mouth to her center, licking her clit, his other hand on her stomach, limiting her moves. Sara opened her legs wider, moaning.  
“Stop it, Ben. Fuck me!” she gasped. “I need to feel you... deep inside of me.”  
He ignored her pleas and removed his fingers from her channel, only to replace them with his tongue. Her fingers threaded into his hair as she arched into him. She moved her hips, fucking herself in his mouth. Then he felt her tightening around his tongue and stopped.  
“No!” she shouted, desperately.  
Ben smirked and put himself between her legs, laying on top of her, the head of his dick teasing her dripping wet entrance. Sara moved beneath him, trying to impale herself on his member, but he held her hands over her head, pinning her down on the bed with his strong body.  
“I love to see you like this. Begging me to fuck you.” he said, hoarsely, moving his hips, penetrating her shallowly. Sara wrapped her legs around his waist trying to force him deeper into her.  
“Give it to me!” she pleaded. “Fuck me!”  
He took his dick out of her, but before she could utter a protest he penetrated her fully, making her shout in pleasure.  
“Is this what you want?” he asked, thrusting into her furiously.  
Sara was still immobilized by his strong hands and body, the intense pleasure taking over her body, all she could do was moan and shout: “Yes! Harder! Fuck me!”  
He licked and bit her nipples, keeping her hands over her head. He fucked her as he wanted: deep and hard, alternating with shalow and slow. It didn’t take long for him to feel her clenching around his member, getting wetter as her climax aproached. He intensified his thrusts and took her mouth, kissing her as strongly as his hips pistoned in and out of her. Sara came hard, biting his lips to make him take his mouth away from hers so she could moan loudly. He thrust as deep as he could and stopped, moving his hips in a circle, making her feel all of his member inside of her. She gasped and he went back to play with her breasts again, kissing and biting her nipples, feeling her getting ready for the next orgasm. He trailed kisses up to her lips and kissed her passionately.  
“Get on all fours.” he ordered after the kiss, taking his member out of her.  
Sara obeyed and he covered her body from behind, penetrating her slowly, his hands on her breasts, pinching her nipples as he slowly moved in and out of her body.  
“Harder, Ben. Make me feel you for days!” she pleaded.  
And he complied; holding her hips firmly, he fucked her deep and hard, feeling her whole body tremble in pleasure as her orgasm took her over, her juices spilling out of her clenching channel, leaving both their thighs wet; he kept on fucking her as she rode her climax, never letting it stop. Sara’s orgasm lasted minutes, her pussy was swolen, hot and incredibly slick. Ben couldn’t hold his own climax any longer so he came deep inside of her, feeling every jet of come that left his dick.  
Sara dropped onto the matress and Ben fell on her. She loved the feeling of his heavy body on top of her. But before they could fall asleep in such an uncomfortable position, he lay down by her side and pulled Sara to his chest.  
“I love you.” she whispered.  
“And I love you.”  
“I’m afraid.” she admitted.  
“So am I.”  
“If this was our last night together... “  
“It wasn’t.” he interrupted. “It didn’t take me three years to have you back only to lose you in a matter of weeks.” Sara smiled. He continued: “I have plans for our family. Plans to enlarge it.”  
She raised her head from his chest to look at him.  
“What?”  
“Hope needs siblings. Being an only child sucks. Trust me.”  
Sara laughed. He always became funnier after sex, but that night he was really inspired.  
“Ok.” she said, laying her head on his chest again. “If we survive the war, we’ll give Hope siblings.”  
“At least two.”  
Sara hesitated for moment, but replied: “Why not. At least two.”  
And he pulled her closer, both falling asleep within minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally!! I still do not like this chapter 100% but I didn’t want to keep you waiting any longer. The smut I added by request. Hope you all like it. Thanks for reading


	13. Red Room White Planet

On the fourth day after their arrival at the Supremacy, Ben walked into their room soon after lunch and stopped by the closed door, looking gravely at Sara, who was on the bed reading a book. 

“This is it.” he said. “Snoke wants to see you. Now.” 

Sara didn’t say anything, she just left the book on the bed and got up, putting her Resistance uniform on. He helped her. Both silent. There was no way to avoid that confrontation: they had to fight Snoke, if not that day then they might not have another chance to face him together. And as long as Snoke was alive there would be no peace in the galaxy, no matter how many rebellions were done or how many resistances were organized. 

Ben got Sara’s lightsaber from the bedside table and attached it to his belt, then he cuffed her and kissed her lips before putting his mask on. 

They walked out of the room and met Jon and the other two Knights who were guarding their door. 

“We are going to meet Snoke.” Ben announced. “You all know what you must do in case everything goes wrong.” 

“Yes.” the three men answered. 

“May the Force be with you.” Jon murmured. 

And the two of them kept on walking, Sara in front of Ben; neither saying a word during the long walk towards Snoke's chambers, there was nothing left to be said. They knew they could be dead in half an hour, they knew about the love they shared and that the future of the galaxy laid in their hands in that moment. As they walked into the elevator that would take them to Snoke's throne room, their eyes briefly met and they silently exchanged what they were feeling: fear of the confrontation and hope that they both survived. 

The elevator ascended and a minute later the doors opened, revealing a spacious red room. Sara tried not to laugh at how ridiculous that was; the big bad Snoke had a red room with red guards standing on both sides of his gigantic dark throne. “The guy has an ego.” she chuckled. Ben pushed her harder to walk and knelt when they had got close enough to the throne. 

"So here you are." said Snoke, in a sibilant, slow voice filled with pleasure. "Well done, my dutiful apprentice, my faith in you is restored." he stared at Sara, a wicked smile in his contorted face. "I finally get to meet my apprentice’s plaything.” he took a long look at her. “I have to admit I understand the appeal – especially because we all know you’re more than what meets the eye.” then he used the Force to get her lightsaber from Ben's belt, he analysed the simple hilt and ignited it. "White crystal.” he sounded impressed. “Stories say that the white crystal is attracted to the Jedi who don’t like to play by the rules of the Council but are not interested in becoming a Sith either: the Gray Jedi.” he paused, still admiring the cold white light of her lightsaber. “Look how beautiful this is: pure, uncorrupted, naturally created white.” 

"I think it's kinda beige if you look closer." mocked Sara. 

Snoke looked at her, turning off her lightsaber and putting it on the arm of his throne. 

"Get closer, child." he ordered, rather calmly. But Sara didn’t move at his order. "I said, get closer!” he replied, not as calmly as before. And she felt the pull of the Force trying to make her move, but she was able to stop it from controlling her. 

"I don’t think so." she said with a smile, remaining still. 

That angered and surprised Snoke. 

"I don’t know why I am surprised.” he had a nasty smile on his disfigured face. “I shouldn’t expect anything less from you. It took me a while but, a few days ago, I realized why your presence seemed familiar. Yes.” he spoke at a slow pace. “I remember you; I know who you are, I even know why you were born..." 

Ben, who had remained on his left knee and kept his head down since they entered the room, stood up and looked at Snoke then, not knowing what that was about. 

"As Dark is created, so is Light." explained Snoke: "Ben Solo was born with a balanced proportion of Light and Dark, both natural to him; he could use both and never fall to either side. A true born Gray Jedi. But to ensure that balance, you came; you were born to be his anchor. A girl of pure Light-power, attracting him immediately even at the tender age of nine.” 

Sara could feel her heart beating faster, the fear of not leaving that room alive intensifying. She could also sense Ben’s fear and conflict – as strong as ever in his mind. 

“I've seen it all in his mind.” continued Snoke. “All your speeches of 'don't do this, don't listen to the stranger's voice in your head'. Yes, I knew whenever he was with you, because I couldn't get through him. There was this annoying blockage whenever you were around. You. Between me and my most precious ally. It took me a while to realize that it was you who had stopped Kylo Ren from killing Han Solo. You, interfering in my plans, again. But now I'll end this for good.” 

"Ben will never fully submit to you, not even when I'm gone.” Sara spoke angrily, a hint of fear could be heard in her voice. “You said it yourself: he has both Light and Dark inside of him – naturally born with both. You won't be able to corrupt one to favour the other. If you believe killing me will turn him, you’re an idiot. The power that bounds people together to fight you is...” 

"So this is all about  _love_?" Snoke interrupted her, and laughed: "You thought letting him fuck you would make he remember his  _love_  for you and then you would defeat me and take him back to the Resistance? Oh, no, this is too good to be true!” he looked at Ben. “My worthy apprentice, son of Darkness, heir apparent to Lord Vader, let’s show this stupid girl where your true loyalty lies. Yes, I can feel it, where there was conflict, I now sense resolve." 

Sara turned around to look at Ben, who had suddenly stiffened up. 

"You were unable to kill your father because of this woman. End her! Complete your training, and fulfil your destiny!" shouted Snoke, furiously. 

"Ben." she whispered. 

"Nothing you say will change his mind, pathetic child. I cannot be betrayed, I cannot be beaten. I see his mind, I see his every intent." continued Snoke. 

Ben took his lightsaber in hand and looked at her, saying: 

"I know what I have to do." 

But Sara had started to feel apprehensive, her blue eyes were big on her face, showing she feared Ben’s next step. She looked at the hilt of his lasersword and then into his eyes.  _Trust me_ , he whispered into her mind, and moved his lightsaber as if ready to ignite it and attack her. 

"Yes... I see him turning the lightsaber to strike true." spoke Snoke completely oblivious to their mind-link. "And now, foolish child, he ignites it, and kills his true enemy!"  

And the sound of an igniting lightsaber did cut through the red-room. But Ben’s was still off. Sara turned around just in time to see Snoke's face of shock as he stared at his own midsection, where her white lightsaber had cut him in half. 

Ben quickly cut off the cuffs from her wrists with his lightsaber and she summoned her own. Sara looked at him, the reddish light of his sword reflecting in their eyes, they nodded and turned around to defend themselves from the Elite Praetorian Guards. The odds were not in their favour – eight highly trained guards against two not fully trained whatever-they-were.  

A furious fight began, and for a moment it seemed Ben and Sara wouldn’t be able to defeat all of them. Three guards came on to her and five to Ben. She killed the first one after using the Force to throw the other two away from her, but they ran back towards her before the dead one’s body reached the floor and she had to stop the double attack quickly. She killed the second one by running towards him and putting her lightsaber through his stomach, slashing him up to the left shoulder. Then she turned to the third one, but before she could have tried to strike him, he launched his whip staff at her, capturing her lightsaber as if it were magnetized. 

"What the..." she murmured. 

He quickly pulled her towards him and tried to choke her with his right hand. She managed to get free from his grip by turning the lightsaber off and throwing herself to the floor, she cut the guard's head off before he could grab her again. 

Then Sara looked at Ben who fought against three of the Guards now; which meant he had killed two of his opponents.  _Five down, three to go._  She thought as she ran towards them.  

One of the three broke his snake-like weapon into two pieces and went towards her, she deflected the assault of one half of the sword but the other one found its target and blood ran down her right arm.  

She used the Force to throw him far from her to buy her more time to come up with a plan but she accidentally threw him into some sort of electric blender that ground the guard into tiny pieces. 

"This place is really weird." she whispered. 

Then she looked up just in time to see Ben put one of the remaining guards on his knees and cut his head off – and avoid having his own head cut off by the other guard in the next second; but this last guard managed to disarm Ben and grabbed him by the neck with his heavy blade, trying to choke him. Sara threw her lightsaber to Ben and he ignited it straight into the guard's head, killing him instantly. 

She ran towards Ben, picking up his lightsaber on the way and giving it to him, getting her own from his hands. They looked around the partially destroyed room and smiled at each other, exhausted but relieved. 

"What now?" she asked, turning her lightsaber off and hanging it on her belt. 

"Now you escape." he said, putting his own on his belt.  

"What?" she was not expecting that answer. 

"I can’t leave the First Order in Hux's hands, Sara – that man is insane. The only way to stop all this is if I become Supreme Leader now." he held her upper arms, making her look into his eyes. "You’ll take Snoke's private space craft and go after the Resistance. Find Hope and..." 

"What about you?” 

"I can defend myself from Hux and Phasma. Snoke was the biggest problem.” 

Sara nodded and gave another long look at the wrecked room, then she stared at Ben dishevelled state. 

"Is it wrong that I'm kinda horny right now?" she whispered. 

Ben laughed: "A bit wrong. Yes." 

Sara kissed him. 

"Now, you knock me out and run.” he said. “I'll tell them you killed Snoke, the guards, and thought I was dead." 

"And they'll believe I did it all alone?" 

"They fear the Jedi. They think they are superior beings or something." 

"Ok." she kissed him again. "I love you." 

"I know." he smiled. 

And she put him to sleep. 

 

* * *

 

Sara got out of the elevator and ran to the hangar bay, avoiding being seen by any stormtrooper, and easily boarded Snoke's personal ship. It was not locked to the hangar bay, so she took flight and left the hangar as fast as possible, keeping the ship away from the Supremacy sensors and calling Leia at the same time. 

"General. This is Sara." 

"My dear. Are you alright?" 

"I actually have some good news, but I'd rather give them in person. I just stole Snoke's personal ship so I need coordinates before the Supremacy finds me!" 

"You escaped?" 

"Yes. Now, coordinates!” 

"I’m sending you the coordinates, but they have already found us! There are TIE-fighters, AT-M6s, AT-ATs and AT-HHs landing here...carrying something that looks like a big cannon." 

"That's a superlaser siege cannon, Ben's told me about it. It's bad." 

"How bad?" 

"As bad as a miniaturized Death Star." Sara explained. 

"Pretty bad, then." 

"Yes. I'll be there in about 8 minutes. Don’t shoot me." 

And she jumped to lightspeed. 

 

* * *

 

 **Crait**  

Sara saw the TIE-fighters as soon as she landed on the salt planet. She used Snoke's ship to destroy four of them and landed as close to the entrance of the base as she could. As she walked out of the ship she saw the Upisilon-class shuttle arrive. 

 _Ben_. She tried to reach out to him. 

 _Your Supreme Leader's_ _speaking_. He replied. 

Sara burst out laughing. 

 _I am glad to hear that. And a bit turned on_. She replied. 

 _Sorry to say that w_ _e’ll have to solve_ _that only af_ _ter_ _the fall of the First Order._ _Now_ _, get_ _into the base_ _and f_ _ind a way_ _out_ _of there. That door_ _won't hold against the cannon._  

 _Give me as much time as yo_ _u can before firing that thing._  

 _Consider_ _it done._ He ended the conversation. 

Sara ran towards the biggest door she had ever set eyes on and entered the base through a gap on the door's bottom. 

She was received by a blast shot – which she stopped mid-air and looked at the three people with blasters in hand that stared at her, shocked. 

“Sara?” asked Lieutenant Tallisan Lintra. 

“How did you do that?” asked Yolo Ziff, pointing to the blast shot that still hung on the air. “Are you a Jedi?” 

“A Gray one, yes.” said Sara, moving away from the blaster shot and letting it hit the wall. “Where is General Organa? 

“She was over there showing the vulptices to your little girl.” said Tallisan. 

Sara nodded and walked around the former Rebel-base, looking for Leia, observing the decaying machinery and the rusty old V-4XD ski speeders used by the Rebel Alliance during the Galactic Civil War that Poe Dameron was trying to fix and clean – unsuccessfully. 

“Do these still fly?” she asked him. 

“Sara!” he exclaimed, surprised to see her. “I really hope they do. These are the only ships we have here.” 

She was going to reply when she heard: “Mommy!!” and the dark-haired little girl, carrying a small backpack, ran towards her and hugged her legs. She picked her daughter up and hugged her tight. “I missed you, honey.” 

“I missed you too, mommy.” then Hope lifted her head from her mom’s shoulder, “Where’s daddy?” 

“He had to stay behind. He’s helping us bring the First Order down.” 

“Is that true?” Leia asked, approaching. 

“Yes. I helped him defeat Snoke and the Praetorian Guards.” Sara said. 

“All eight of them?” asked Finn, sounding impressed. 

“Yes.” continued Sara. “Now Ben is their Supreme Leader and he’s waiting for the right moment to take Hux down. Hux is the one who controls their military power and he’s deranged.” 

“Who is Ben?” asked Finn. 

“My son,” Leia answered.  

“And mine.” said Han Solo, walking towards them with the help of a cane and limping, but looking nearly completely healed. “You know him by Kylo Ren.” 

And the base became silent. Some people knew about it, but some didn’t, so shocked faces were seen all around the Resistance members. 

“We need to find a way out of here.” urged Sara. “That cannon out there is a superlaser siege cannon, something like a miniaturized Death Star. It’s capable of firing a devastating amount of energy, that big door will crack like an egg.” 

“BB 8 has analysed the base’s blueprints and there’s no other way out of here but through the front door.” said C3PO. 

“So let’s make one.” said Sara.  

“Wait.” exclaimed Poe, suddenly. “Do you hear anything?” 

“Besides that cannon charging out there... No.” answered Han. 

“The puppies!” exclaimed Hope. 

“Exactly!” said Poe. “They found a way out, all we have to do is find them. Follow me.” and they walked deeper into the base. 

 

* * *

 

“Even if we do find a way out,” began Finn. “How are we going to leave this planet?” 

“Rey has the Falcon, if only we could contact her.” said Han. 

“I can try.” said Sara, reaching out with the Force and looking for Rey. “She’s here in Crait too.” 

 _Rey_. She mentally called.  _This is Sara._  

 _Hi._ _Are you with the others?_  

 _Yes._  

 _Where are you?_  Rey asked. _I’ve been unable to find them_... 

 _We are be_ _neath the ground. I’ll open us a way out and we’ll need to board the Falcon to escape. Can you_ _locate_ _me through the Force?_  

 _Yes. Find a way up to the surface and I’ll meet you there._  

 

* * *

 

Sara opened up a hole through the rocks and everybody walked out, straight into the Falcon. At the same time, the sound of the cannon being fired and breaking the door hit them. 

“Let’s go.” urged Leia. "Quickly!" 

 _Are you safe?_ Sara heard Ben’s voice in her mind as the Falcon took flight. 

 _Yes, we’ve just departed._ _And Hope asked about you_. 

 _I’ll end this as soon as_ _possible and be with you two._  

 _What’s_ _your_ _plan?_  

 _Kill Hux and_ _Phasma_ _. And_ _cut up_ _a_ _deal_ _for the_ _stormtoopers_ _with_ _the_ _Galactic_ _Alliance_ _._  

 _You’ll surrender? They’ll arrest you_ _, Ben_ _!_  

 _I’ll have to answer for my crimes, Sara. I did commit some, you know._  

She closed her eyes. 

“Sara,” Leia's voice broke her connection with Ben. “Are you alright, dear?” 

“Yes. We must go to Mon Cala. The Galactic Alliance must learn of Ben’s plans. Otherwise they might just attack him once he lands.” 

“I’ll try to contact Cal Omas and let him know we are all coming.” and Leia ran to the control room to make the call. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of backstory information for this chapter, here they are: 
> 
> 1\. The Elite Praetorian Guard was a force of eight human warriors who were tasked with the protection of Supreme Leader Snoke, the leader of the First Order. Following the tradition of the Emperor's Royal Guard, the personal bodyguards of Emperor Sheev Palpatine, the Praetorian Guards wore red robes and armor. They specialized in various martial arts, including Teräs Käsi, and carried various high-tech melee weapons.(Canon) 
> 
> 2\. The superlaser siege cannon was a piece of miniaturized Death Startechnology capable of firing a devastating energy pulse along a targeting tracer beam to cause a powerful detonation upon impact. The two-hundred-meter cannon required support vehicles to maneuver it into position during sieges; the weapon was airlifted onto battlefields, and was towed on ultra-dense cables by All Terrain Heavy Haulers. When positioned, the cannon deployed retractable stabilizing outriggers to ground its bulk, and was armed with topside defense turrets for protection while charging. (Canon) 
> 
> 3\. Tallissan Lintra, nicknamed "Tallie," was a human female pilot who served as a lieutenant in the Resistance. Before joining the Resistance, she lived on a farm with her father on Pippip 3. She dies on The Last Jedi when  Kylo Ren, abord his TIE Silencer, fires againt Raddus’ hangar bay, taking out the Resistance Starfighter Corps. (the character is Canon – but I didn’t kill her) 
> 
> 4\. Yolo Ziff was a human male artist who flew for the Resistance during its conflict against the First Order. In 34 ABY, Ziff created propaganda for the Resistance, and he participated in the Battle of Starkiller Base. (Canon) 
> 
> 5\. Vulptices (singular: Vulptex) were a species of fox-like creatures that lived within burrows and tunnels beneath the surface of the salt-covered mineral planet of Crait. They were distinguished by their white, crystalline fur. A group of vulptices was called a skulk. (Canon) 
> 
> 6\. Cal Omas was a male Alderaanian who founded the Galactic Federation of Free Alliances, government that followed the New Republic. Also known as The Gallactic Alliance, it incorporated most of the known galaxy, and was the first government to achieve that since the Galactic Empire. It was formed on Mon Cala, a planet in the Calamari system of the Calamari sector, located in the Outer Rim. The planet was a shining bluish-white orb from space, due to its ocean-covered surface. The Gallactic Alliance was formed in 27 ABY. (Legends) 
> 
> I’ll try to add one last smut scene in the next (and last) chapter. 
> 
> Hope you’re enjoying this!


	14. A New Dawn

**Inside the Supremacy**    


General Hux had been informed about Ren and his prisoner going to see Snoke and that fighting sounds were heard coming from the throne room, also that Snoke's personal space craft had left the hangar bay about fifteen minutes ago, but he had been too busy planning the attack on Crait – where they discovered the Resistance had looked for refuge inside an old Rebel-base – to go take a look immediately. So, once every part of the attack had been planned, he went looking for Kylo Ren to demand some explanation from him. But he couldn’t find the annoying man anywhere, and the Knights of Ren had no idea of their commander’s whereabouts. So Hux mustered up some courage and stepped into the elevator that would take him to Snoke’s red room.

Expecting to find an angry Snoke, a wounded Ren, and a dead woman in there, when the elevator’s doors opened the scene of destruction he found instead took him by surprise; the Praetorian Guards lay on the floor, some with missing limbs, and said limbs lay somewhere around the room; his eyes fell onto the throne, where the bottom half of Snoke's body lay, the upper half had fallen onto the floor, by his own feet, eyes still open.

Hux walked a few more steps inside and found Kylo Ren on the floor. A smile began to form on his face.  _Please be dead._ He thought.  _Be dead and this will become the happiest day of my life._ He walked closer and noticed the man was only fainted, he could see his chest moving as he breathed. Hux motioned to grab his blaster.

* * *

Ben sensed when Hux walked into the room and he felt the man’s intention of killing him while he lay on the floor. So he staged a sudden awakening and stood up, looking confused.

“What happened here?” Hux asked, discreetly removing his hand from the blaster's hilt.

“The woman, my prisoner, she revealed her true self. She was a Gray Jedi. She killed Snoke and the guards and may have thought I was dead.”

“She did all this on her own?” Hux was not believing that.

“Yes. Haven’t you ever heard of the Gray Jedi? They follow no rules!”

“Yes, but...”

“Where is she now?” Ben asked, pretending not to know.

“She stole Snoke's personal shuttle. She is probably going to Crait. The Resistance is there.”

“Let’s go after her. Send your army to Crait.”

“You presume to control my army?” growled Hux. “Do you think I’ll bow before you? Our Supreme Leader is dead!”

And suddenly he was being Force-choked by a furious Kylo Ren.

“Exactly. The Supreme Leader is dead!”

“Long live the Supreme Leader.” said Hux, still being choked.

* * *

As soon as they reached Crait aboard the Upisilon Silence, Ben felt Sara’s presence on the planet and heard her voice in his head:  _Ben_. Then he said he was her Supreme Leader, making her laugh, and asked her to get everybody out of the base as fast as possible.

Now he had to find a way to end Hux and Phasma.

* * *

Ben walked into the Upisilon control room and heard Hux shouting: “What are you waiting for? Fire that cannon!”

“No.” Ben said. “I want to wait, make them feel trapped, hopeless.” he needed to give Sara enough time to get everyone out of the rebel-base.

“That’s useless! Torturing them now is like torturing corpses! They’ll be dead within minutes. Fire!”

But the admiral responsible for the cannon simply looked at Ben and didn’t move.

Hux, filled with anger, ran to the control panel and hit the button that fired the cannon. Then he took his blaster, showing intention to shoot the admiral, but he aimed and fired at Ben instead. That was exactly what Ben had been waiting for, he avoided the blaster shot and Force-choked Hux, and with a turn of his wrist he broke the man’s neck, killing him instantly. No one dared to say a word in the control room.

“Stop that cannon.” Ben said to the admiral.

“It... it c-can’t be stopped, Sir.”

Ben searched for Sara through the Force and asked her:  _Are you safe?_

* * *

Knowing that everybody in the Resistance had escaped Crait before the cannon shot helped clear his mind to think of the next step. He ordered his pilot, the Knight Seth, to put the Upisilon back inside the Supremacy.

"This is it, then?" asked Seth. "We're ending the war today?"

"Yes. All we have to do now is kill Phasma and hope the troopers are on our side."

"I don't think we need to worry about that, Commander. From all I've heard in the little time I've spent with them, the troopers will be more than glad to hear that not only you're ending the war but you'll also help them find a way out from the crimes they committed for the First Order." he paused. "Do you think we'll get out of this mess with a good deal too?"

"I'll try to be the only one sent to Oovo IV." replied Ben. "Hopefully you'll all be pardoned."

They parked into the Supremacy’s hangar bay and Ben walked out, followed by the Knights of Ren.

“Traitor!” the were received by Phasma shouting, stormtroopers on both sides of her, blasters in hand aiming at the Knights. “You killed our Supreme Leader!”

“A Gray Jedi killed Snoke.” Ben calmly replied.

“With your help! I checked throne room's surveillance cameras.” said Phasma. “Now you’ll just sell us to the Galactic Alliance!”

“Every word you’ve just said is true.” he raised his hands and removed his mask. “I am here, as your Supreme Leader, to give you,” he looked at the stormtroopers. “A way out of this life. You were taken from your families as infants, you were brainwashed and trained to do just one thing: kill for the First Order. Now there's no more war, the First Order is over. And I can give you a safe way out.”

“I don’t want out!” shouted Phasma. “I want the blood of my enemies! I want victory!!” she kept her blaster aimed at Ben, but all the other stormtroopers had put their guns down. “You’re all traitors!” she shouted and fired at Ben – who deflected her shot with his lightsaber, and with one swift turn of his sword he removed her head from her shoulders. Phasma's headless body fell to the floor of the hangar bay and there were cheers from the stormtroopers.

Ben and the Knights continued to walk towards the control room of the Supremacy.

“It went better than I had imagined.” commented Jon as they walked.

“True. Let’s hope the troopers on the other ships are as easy to convince as those were.” said Ben.

They reached the control room and, from there, Ben ordered all First Order employees to gather in each ships’ hangar bay to listen to a message from their Supreme Leader.

“This is your new Supreme Leader speaking,” he began. “You all know me as Kylo Ren. The war is over. Right now, I’m taking our entire fleet to Mon Cala, where we’ll offer the First Order’s surrender to Cal Omas. Those against it are free to leave, but know that I’ll make sure none of you is taken responsible for the First Order’s crimes.”

Almost immediately the answers from their fleet began to arrive: no one was going to leave, everyone was happy surrendering to the Galactic Alliance.

So, their Dreadnought Mandator, thirty Star Destroyers, twenty-seven Resurgent-class Star Destroyers (the Finalizer among them), and their many Cruisers, all followed the Mega-class Star Dreadnought Supremacy towards Mon Cala.

* * *

A soon as the blue planet was within sight, Ben and the Knights boarded the Upisilon Silence again, taking flight, leaving the hangar bay, and tried to contact the Galactic Alliance.

“This is the First Order's Supreme Leader Ben Solo.” the use of his birth name made his fellow Knights turn their heads to look at him. “Requesting permission to land. I come to negotiate the First Order’s surrender.”

“Welcome, Mr. Solo.” a friendly voice answered. “We are already aware of your visit and the reason you’re here. I’ll send you the landing coordinates promptly.”

“You’re Ben Solo?” asked Jon, shocked.

“Yes.”

“Princess Leia ‘s son?” asked Seth.

“Yes.”

“You’re royalty, man?” asked another Knight named Len.

“Not really. Alderaan exploded, so... no planet to rule, no royal family.” said Ben.

“We always thought that Snoke believed you were Darth Vader’s reincarnation or something; we never imagined you were actually his grandson!” said Seth.

“Yes. I used to take pride in that. Now, not so much.” said Ben. “There’s nothing good in being related to him. Quite the opposite really. It ruined my mother’s political career and inspired me to make stupid decisions.”

The coordinates arrived and Ben decided that silence was better than talking about his family. Ten minutes later, the Silence was parked on Mon Cala, in a parking lot, on a beautiful island, beside a well-known ship.

“Is that the Millennium Falcon?” Jon asked.

“Yes.” Ben replied, happy to see that piece of junk after so long.

As they approached the main building of the island: the courthouse, — which resembled an imposing castle — the doors were opened and Cal Omas walked out, followed by other members of the Alliance; and a tired-looking Leia was with them. She walked forward and hugged her son, without saying a word.

“You are here to negotiate the terms of the First Order's surrender.” said Cal Omas, a white-haired, blue-eyed man. “And to be judged for your own crimes. Please, come inside to state your terms and let’s begin this trial.”

"Yes, Chief Omas." said Ben.

Then they all walked into the courthouse.

* * *

Three hours later, an agreement was reached: the stormtroopers, and other First Order’s employees who decided to continue their military life, would be employed by the Galactic Alliance and sent to planets that needed military personnel; those who didn’t want to live that life anymore, would be discharged and free to go to their home planet or wherever they wished to go. The only condition was that they couldn’t join any kind of group or political association contrary to the Alliance’s views ever again.

The Knights of Ren were condemned for the psychological torture of civilians and sentenced to serve four years of imprisonment on Oovo IV; but they wouldn’t have to serve that time for the Judge pardoned them later because they helped bring to an end the reign of terror of the First Order.

Ben Solo was condemned for those same crimes, plus the execution of Lor San Tekka.

Leia was watching the trial with apprehension; Sara had spent nearly an hour talking privately to the Judge and Cal Omas prior to Ben's arrival, but Leia had no idea what they had discussed. All she knew was that Sara couldn't meet with Ben until the end of the trial, so they had put her and Hope in a room away from the place where the trial was being held. Leia saw her only son walk to the middle of the courthouse, and stop in front of the Judge of the Gallactic Alliance Court of Justice, Mavari Zudan.

“Regarding Mr. San Tekka's death,” said the Judge. “Do you have anything to say in your defense, Mr. Solo?”

“I was under Snoke's influence.” Ben replied.

“But how do you plead?” Zudan asked.

“Guilty.”

Mavari Zudan stared at him, not really knowing what to do.

“Mr. Solo.” she began. “You’re the son of two war heroes; you aspired to become a Jedi, but ended up burning your uncle’s Temple to the ground, and helped Snoke raise his reign of terror; however you also put an end to it, and the First Order as well, restoring order to the Galaxy.” she paused. “What are your plans for the future, may I ask?”

“If not imprisoned, I plan to live peacefully in Takodana with my wife and children.”

The Judge stared at him a while longer, pondering, then she seemed to have an idea:

“Mr. Solo, I sentence you to become a Jedi Master.”

Everybody looked at her, not understanding what kind of sentence was that, and parallel conversations abounded in the room.

“Silence, please." Zudan had to ask. “And let me explain: the biggest teacher in life is failure. The great Jedi Master Yoda used to say those words. And you, Mr. Solo, have failed, repeatedly – you made only wrong decisions in your life. So I remebered that your wife has petitioned the Galactic Alliance to open a new Jedi Praxeum, based on the Potentium beliefs, and I think your experience with failure and the Dark-side will be of great value for the new generation of Force-sensitive children.”

Ben was shocked to learn that; Sara had saved him. Again.

“Therefore,” continued the Judge, “I’ll release you in Sara Antilles’s custody, to serve as a teacher in her Academy." then she hit the table with her wooden hammer, ending the trial.

* * *

Ben walked out of the courthouse into the beautiful sunny day, the Knights following him.

"Are you really going to live in Takodana, Commander?" asked Len.

"Yes." Ben replied. "It's what I wanted to have done four years ago but couldn’t."

"I think I'll buy a bungalow there too." said Jon. "Maybe I'll find myself a pretty female to settle down as well. She doesn't even have to be human."

“It'll be nice to have a friend around." Ben smiled, looking around searching for his family.

"Ben!" he heard his mother's voice and saw her almost running towards him.

Leia threw herself into his arms, hugging him, tears falling down her face.

"I'm so glad to see you alive." she whispered. "I never thought I’d hug you again..."

"It's ok, mom." he whispered.

She touched his face and let go of him. Then Han Solo appeared and Ben faced his father for the first time since the staged murdering attempt.

“I’m sorry, father.” Ben whispered.

“For what? Not killing me?” asked Han before pulling his son into a hug. “We’ll have plenty of time to talk, son. Let’s just be glad this nightmare is finally over.” he released him and Ben just nodded, smiling softly.

"Where's Sara?" he asked, looking to the castle's doors.

"She had some papers to sign." explained Leia. “About your custody and the new Jedi Academy."

After a few minutes he saw her walking towards them, a folder full of papers on her left hand and a beautiful little girl on her right. She no longer wore a Resistance uniform, now she had a dark blue and grey dress on, which hugged her upper body and fell down beautifully up to her ankles. She looked gorgeous and powerful. His eyes fell on the girl walking by her side.

“Hope.” Ben whispered, seeing her in person for the first time.

"She was so worried about you." said Leia.

He saw the moment his daughter found him, she looked up at her mother and Sara nodded before letting her daughter’s hand go. Hope ran towards her father.

Ben got on his knees to be on the same height as the little girl.

She threw herself on him, hugging him tight.

“Daddy! I was so scared for you.”

"I’m fine now, baby."

Hope looked at his face, her beautiful blue eyes filled with tears.

"I feared I'd never meet you." she whispered.

Ben hugged her tight, feeling guilty for making her cry.

"Everything is alright now." he replied, touching her hair, smelling her sweet innocent perfume for the first time.

Sara reached them and Ben stood up, taking Hope in his arms. He pulled Sara close and kissed her.

 _You look sexy in that dress._  He spoke into her mind.

 _I thought you liked seeing me in your shirts._ She replied, making him chuckle.

“Ew! Kissing!” complained Hope. "Stop that!"

And they laughed, stopping the kiss. Ben looked Sara in the eyes, saying into her mind:  _If you weren’t already my wife, I’d ask you to marry me._

She smiled.

 _As unbelievable as it is, I would say yes, again._  She replied.

“So, let’s go home?” asked Han.

“And where exactly is that?” Leia asked, expecting her husband to say his ship’s name.

“Takodana!” shouted Hope.

“That’s right, kid.” agreed Han, to Leia's surprise. “Your Highnessness here won’t ever agree to live on the Falcon.” he held his wife by the waist. “So, I need to find us a house to buy.”

“And we have a Temple to build.” said Sara.

"All aboard!" shouted Han, walking to the Falcon, where Chewie stood by the door.

And they boarded the Millennium Falcon, going home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes1: This was supposed to be the last chapter but ideas kept coming and I kept writing and suddenly I had 15 pages for chapter 14... so I split it up. Now we'll have 15 chapters. Smut and family-talk in the next one. 
> 
> Notes2: 
> 
> 1.Mavari Zudan was a female Falleen judge in the Galactic Alliance Court of Justice in 43 ABY. She was the judge during Jedi Grand Master Luke Skywalker's trial in 43.5 ABY. (Legends) 
> 
> 2\. Oovo IV was a prison moon. The Firespray-31-class patrol and attack craft was created to guard it. The bounty hunter Jango Fett stole his Firespray-31, Slave I, from Oovo IV (Canon) 
> 
> 3\. The Potentium (Legends) was the name of a sect of beings who had a particular way of viewing the Force as a whole (without its traditional division into light and dark sides); they used the term also to refer to the Force itself, instead of the vernacular term common to most of the galaxy—"The Force". The followers of Potentium believe that there is no inherent evil in viewing the Force. They reasoned that if the Force was the energy that flows through all life, the dark side simply came from the corruption of humanity. They claimed that what others called the light side of the Force was actually just the Force itself, which was inherently good. This was backed up by the fact that Ashla, the ancient name of the Force, came later to describe the light side. What others therefore called the dark side was a perversion of the Force, twisted by those who used it. 
> 
> Believers of Potentium said that the potential for light and dark sides resided in the user, not the Force itself, Jedi Masters refused to believe in the Potentium view because it would mean the Jedi were not needed to fight evil, for evil would not exist. 
> 
> About a century before the Battle of Naboo, the followers of Potentium were expelled from the Jedi Order, parallel to the Jedi Order's treatment of Grey Jedi as "misguided." Yoda and the rest of the Jedi High Council did not consider them Dark Jedi, but they said it was the duty of the Jedi to use the Force to protect others, not study its absolute limits. The Council said that testing the Force to its limits would lead to the dark side. 
> 
> The Power of the Jedi Sourcebook states that the Potentium is a corrupt, misguided philosophy, and was the first source considered canonical within the continuity of Star Wars Legends that stated this outright.


	15. Home

**Abord the Millennium Falcon**

On the way home, Hope fell asleep on Leia's lap, while Sara and Ben helped Han and Chewie control the Falcon – which seemed to be falling apart.

“I guess it’s time to retire this ship.” Ben said from the hatch he was in on the floor, fixing another leaking gas pipe – he had changed his black Kylo Ren's clothes for something more comfortable: jeans and a white long sleeved shirt. “It’s falling apart.”

“All the Falcon needs is a little love, son,” explained Han. “Unklar Plutt really fucked her over. Once we’re safe home, I’ll start working on getting her back on her feet.”

Sara tried not to laugh at Han’s optimism and looked at Ben, who stared up at her, shaking his head at his father’s words, and got out of the hatch. After closing the hatch, Ben brought Sara close to his body, kissing her. She crossed her arms behind his neck, letting him deepen the kiss.

The sound of a throat being cleaned brought the snogging couple back to reality. Everybody was looking at them with smiles on their faces.

“Sorry.” Sara whispered. “We got carried away...”

“I am happy for you, kids.” said Han. “But we have two more hours of fixing the Falcon if we want to reach Takodana.”

“Yes, Sir.” said Ben, letting go of Sara’s waist.

And they went back to grabbing tools and going down hatches and up stairs to fix the ship.

Once things seemed under control, Ben sat in the cockpit with his father.

“Must be good to know you’re a free man now.” said Han.

“I don’t actually believe it yet. Maybe after a week home I will understand that I don’t ever have to leave or explain myself to anyone.” Ben paused. “It’ll be good; I’ve never spent a whole week home.”

“No?”

“I stayed for three days once.” he looked out of the window. “The punishment I received for not telling Snoke where I had been was... not pleasant. I think he knew I was with Sara then. Before we killed him, he said that he had always known whenever I was with her...”

“Really? How?”

“She blocked him. Somehow. Even when we were still kids training at the Temple, she always blocked him from my mind.”

“So that’s her gift.” Han murmured.

“Gift?” Ben looked at his father, confused.

“Sara’s parents told your mother, on the first time they had dinner at our house, that she had a gift. Luke knew about it and that’s why he was helping her then.”

“I was fascinated by her since that first day.”

“I know. You were nine but wouldn’t shut up about her.”

“She helped me connect with the Force that night, and I felt peaceful. And once she left I felt sad and angry again – two feelings I didn’t have while she was around; after a few weeks I realized that her Light-Force balanced my powers, making me feel more in control of myself. The years I spent away from her were horrible. I felt angry all the time. I see now how that made me an easy target to Snoke. I was so stupid...”

“You made mistakes, son. But your mother and I, we were the ones who made the worst mistake: we shouldn’t ever have sent you away from home. The moment you needed us around the most, we shipped you to your uncle.” Han looked at his son. “I am sorry I never really understood anything about the Force, maybe if I had tried to understand it, I could have helped you.”

“Nah, I could have told uncle Luke about Snoke’s voice in my head... but I never really asked for help. Sara tried, but I was too young and stupid to realize where that path would take me.”

“Anyway, I am sorry.” apologized Han, again.

“Whatever you think needs forgiviness is already forgiven, father.” said Ben. “You shouldn’t have sent me away, but I can’t hold you responsible for the wrong decisions I made. They were mine and mine alone.”

“Thanks, son.”

And they kept on making sure the ship was going on the right direction.

* * *

About an hour from Takodana, Sara found Ben sitting alone in the Falcon's cockpit.

"You look good here." she said. "Piloting the Falcon." she stood beside his chair.

"I like this ship. I understand my father's love for her." he replied, pulling Sara to his lap. He kissed her, his right hand touching her body, going under her dress, caressing her thighs, his fingertips getting really close to her center, making her sigh against his lips.

"Excuse me!" Han shouted from the door.

And Sara jumped from Ben's lap, blushing from embarassement.

"Next time I'll throw a bucket of cold water on you two." said Han.

"Sorry, father." Ben said, smiling, but also embarassed.

"I'll just... go check on Hope." said Sara, leaving the cockpit.

Han shook his head and looked at Ben, saying:

"Get out of my spot."

Ben got up and sat on the co-pilot's chair beside his father.

* * *

**Takodana**

Han landed the Falcon as close to the blue and white cottage as possible.

Maz Kanata had kept the place in pristine condition during Sara’s absence. The garden was filled with vegetables, the lawn mowed; she had even stocked the pantry after Sara called to say they were going home.

Sara took Hope straight to the little girl’s bedroom; she had fallen asleep during the trip and Sara wasn’t going to wake her up to shower. She slowly put her daughter down on the bed and pulled off the girl’s dirty clothes, dressing her up in clean dark blue pyjamas. Leia walked into the room as Sara finished tucking Hope in.

“Here.” Leia whispered, taking something from Hope’s small backpack. “Her bedtime tiara.”

Sara smiled and put the Alderaanian jewel on her daughter’s head.

When they turned to leave the room, Han was by the door, smiling.

“I still can’t believe she wears that to bed.” he whispered, shaking his head.

* * *

Leia and Han went to the Falcon to spend the night.

Sara closed the front door after they left and walked into the kitchen, where a recently showered, shirtless Ben was preparing them something to eat. Sara stopped by his side.

Ben held her waist with one arm, while stirring the stew with the other.

“We're finally home. Together.” she whispered. “It’ll take me a while to realize you’re here to stay.”

“You have my custody now. I can’t leave this planet without ending up in jail. Not that I'd want to ever leave again.”

“Speaking of that... I read your testimony earlier.”

“Yes. And?”

“You said all you want is to live in Takodana, with your wife and... children.”

“Yes. I did. It’s true.”

“But we only have one kid...”

“For now.” he turned off the stove and turned around to face her, bringing their bodies close together. “We’ll have plenty of time to work on making those two more you promised.” he kissed her lovingly, enjoying the feeling of the calm waves on the peaceful white-sanded beach her presence always brought him. He broke the kiss: “No need for sword fighting this time though.”

Sara smiled.

“Agreed. I don’t want to have to change the couch every time we decide to have kids.” she touched his bare chest. "I'll take a shower now. Want to join me?"

"Absolutely." he whispered, nipping her bottom lip. He kissed her and they walked, bodies still close together, to the bathroom.

After closing the door, Ben helped her out of her dress and undergarments and stared at her naked figure. Sara didn’t even blush, she enjoyed his appreciative stare, the way his dark eyes feasted on her curves made her feel loved, cherished and desired.

“You’re so beautiful.” he whispered, his hands on her hips, his lips touching hers softly at first.

Sara crossed her arms behind his neck, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Her body pliant in his hands; Ben’s powers attracting hers, his tall masculine body was enough to fill her up with desire.

He stopped the kiss and held her face in his right hand, his thumb caressing her moist lips, making her open her mouth. Sara looked him in the eyes and sucked on his thumb, circling the digit with her tongue. Ben groaned, his left hand working on taking off his pyjama bottoms.

“I love seeing you like this: needing me, filled with desire for me.” he said, watching her work on his fingers, sucking and licking each digit; that beautiful, intelligent woman was all his; she was a strong Force-user, but he knew how to make her tremble with desire and only think of his hands on her skin, needing his body on hers.

“I like me this way too.” Sara said, licking his middle finger now; she loved having him in control of her pleasure.

Ben took his hand from her wet lips and finished getting out of his pants, standing naked in front of her. She stared at him, the strong male body she knew and desired, his well-defined chest, broad shoulders, his member standing hard, red and leaking at the tip, as if asking her to taste it.

Sara looked from his member to his eyes and Ben knew what she wanted — she loved giving head and he loved having her mouth on him. He fisted his right hand on the back of her head, grabbing her hair, and brought her closer, left hand on her butt cheek; he took her lips passionately. She whimpered in his mouth, her right hand finding his dick, jerking him off slowly. Ben stopped the kiss and pulled her head back, biting her neck, and gasping against her skin as her hand pleasured him.

“You want to suck it, I know.” his voice hoarse.

“Yes. Please.” she moaned.

“And you will. But not before I help you get real wet and clean for me.”

“I am certainly wet enough already.” she spoke alluringly.

Ben chuckled, holding her close to his body, and reached into the shower stall to turn the water on. He put her under the water spray and took the purple loofah he found hanging there, squirting liquid soap on it, and began to clean her up.

Sara gasped and moaned as he cleaned and rinsed her every curve and crevice, teasing her nipples with the loofah. When his fingers dipped into her centre, she had to stop herself from moaning loud, she dug her nails into his shoulders, opening her legs further apart, throwing her head back.

Ben took his time building up her desire, saying he would stop once he deemed her clean. Sara’s skin was hypersensitive when they left the bathroom, the soft fabric of the robe she had on was enough to make her sigh in pleasure. Ben had only a towel around his waist.

As soon as she entered their bedroom she took the robe off of her body and sat down on the edge of the bed. Ben let the towel fall from his waist and stood in front of her; Sara wasted no time, pulling him towards her face and engulfing his hard member, sucking on it as if it were made of chocolate.

Ben groaned, fisting his hand on her hair. The vision of her lips spread wide around his dick was something he would never get tired of. But he didn’t want to come in her mouth, he wanted to fuck her, spill inside of her while she trembled around him. So he pulled on her hair, taking his member from between her delicious lips.

“Lie down on the bed.” he ordered.

Sara quickly obeyed, lying down on her back in the middle of the mattress. Ben slowly put himself between her legs, opening them, caressing her thighs, hearing her moan as his fingers teased her opening. He traced a path of kisses from her navel to her lips; she arched her back, exposing her neck for his assault, as one long finger penetrated her, touching her g-spot, making her moan his name.

“You’re delicious.” he rasped, taking his finger slowly from her channel, rubbing her clit on the way out. Then he lay down on top of her, taking both her hands and pinning them above her head, making her sigh as his weight fell on her; he kissed her deeply, using the Force to keep her hands locked in place.

Sara gasped once she felt she couldn’t move her arms; she was at his mercy. Ben decided to give some attention to her nipples, his tongue laved one as his thumb and forefinger pinched the other. Sara arched and moaned, feeling lightheaded as her body got close to being overstimulated. He rubbed his hard member against her soaked centre, “Yes!” she gasped. But he teased her a while longer, putting only the head of his cock inside of her. “Oh, Ben. Please” she moaned. He looked at her face, blushed red with the need that grew in her; then he penetrated her fully, the heat and grip on his member driving him crazy. The look of sheer pleasure on Sara’s face was all he tried to focus on, pistoning his hips in and out of her, deep, hitting her cervix, making sure to rub his pelvic bone against her clit with every thrust.

Sara knew she couldn’t scream – they weren’t alone in the house – so all she could do was gasp, moan softly and bite her own lips to stop the pleasure-filled shouts that were stuck in her throat. Ben learned forward, resting his weight on his elbows on the mattress by her shoulders and sucked one perfect nipple into his mouth, eliciting more breathless moans from her lips. Sweat covered their bodies, making it easier for him to rub his whole body on hers, pinning her against the bed. He felt her clenching around his member.

“Come for me.” his voice hoarse.

Sara promptly obeyed, arching her back, silently screaming as her channel milked his member, as if trying to suck it deeper. Ben never stopped fucking her. Once she finished riding her orgasm, he released her hands from his Force-hold and ordered: “Get on all fours!”

He didn’t need to ask twice, Sara turned around and put her ass up in the air, needing him inside of her. He took that as the invitation it was and penetrated her, holding her hips roughly, leaving bruises. But he kept his thrusts shallow.

“Harder, Ben!” she pleaded. “Fuck me. Make me feel you for days!”

His grip on her hips tightened and his pounding increased. Sara felt a weakness run up her spine, pure pleasure taking over her. He was already as deep as possible inside of her but it didn’t stop him from trying to get even deeper. She moaned at every thrust of his. It was becoming difficult for him to hold off his own climax. He took his dick out and rammed it back in. He did that five times, spilling his seed inside of her on the fifth thrust, making her come with him, hearing her loud gasps and feeling her juices get both their thighs wet. Once he regained his senses, he took his softening member out of her and lay down beside her on the bed, pulling her to his chest.

Sara had her eyes closed and a satisfied smile on her reddened lips.

“I love you.” he said. “I’m sorry for all the tears I made you cry. If I could change the past...”

She opened her blue eyes and looked at him tenderly.

“I wouldn’t want to change a thing." she whispered. "I’d have done it all again, Ben. We were happy those years we lived here; it nearly killed me when you left, but once you returned we made Hope; then you left, again, but when we met we worked together to rid the Galaxy of Snoke’s villany. All I see are good things. Today, I don’t even remember the tears.”

He kissed her lovingly.

“I promise to make it up to you.” he said against her lips.

“Well, I may know some ways you can do just that.” she looked at him playfully. “Have you kept your Kylo Ren uniform?”

Ben laughed at that.

“So?” she insisted. "Have you?”

“Of course I have.”

“Mask and all?”

“Yes. Full attire.” he replied, smiling.

“Good. I’d like to meet him, someday.”

“I know. And you will. Although he may not be the bad boy you think he is.”

"As long as he knows how to do _me_ good, I'm fine with that."

And they fell asleep in each other’s arms, finally home, together; and, this time, forever.

* * *

**THE END**

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this story!
> 
> Reviews are always appreciated!
> 
> And I do plan on writing an one-shot where Sara “meets” Kylo Ren. :D


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